My Lovely Sacrifice
by dagomir
Summary: Being a goddess has it's perks: once in a while you may get a sacrifice. But there are also flaws: some sacrifices are unwilling to be sacrificed. ShizNat, AU
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do own nothing save my shirt and half-gone cup of tea. Mai-Hime and Mai-Otome still belong to their rightful owners.

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><p>If they ever tell you that heaven is the most beautiful place of all, do not believe them.<p>

And if they tell you that gods are the happiest creatures of all, do not believe them either.

I am a goddess, I know what it takes.

Beings as myself, you usually call "smaller gods", which means I have not created anything, I was just appointed with custody over this little part of human realm. A handful of villages (some of them even on their way to extinction), a little bit of a forest, a tad of mountains and a sea so small it could easily pass as a particularly big lake. Nothing to envy, really.

As for my own part of heaven, I inherited it as a patch of bare land. Everything you see here: this low house of Japanese style, this peaceful garden with a pond inhabited by red and golden carps, those stone paths intersecting on a sandy yard, I painstakingly made from scratch. Not that I have ever shown how bothersome it was.

No, when you're a god - even if only a smaller one - in all times you must keep façade. Smile: not too wide but pleasant enough. Speech: as courteous as possible without disgracing or humbling yourself before subjects and fellow gods, and even more humble than that when speaking with higher entities. Manners: always impeccable and of highest sort. It's not that merry and easy being a god, not at all.

At times it can become quite boring. It's true that being a god comes with certain duties and powers. I listen to prayers and wishes, I gather praise, I send a curse on a particularly disobedient individual or village and bless those living faithfully. The latter happens much more often than the former, actually. It's not that I am a lenient goddess, I simply believe in positive feedback and reinforcement more than in punishment.

Well, it's not entirely true. While I do want to be adored and worshipped by my subjects without fear, I am not given many chances to prove what kind of god I am. People are no longer how they used to be.

Ages ago they would mention my name with every other breath. They would swear on me and bless in my name, they would ask for my blessings in every little enterprise of theirs and thank me for every single good that happened to them. They would worship me in the evening, thanking for a day gone by and asking for a peaceful night; and in the morning, they would praise me through the rising sun and surrender all their plans and deeds to me.

These days, as generations have passed since my taking a custody over this land, many of them relegated me to the same stock as dwarfs, fairies, elves and this funny, toothy creature that is supposed to bring children gifts during equinoxes. Rarely they remember of me and only when they find themselves or their families in the toughest of situations.

I do not resent them for that. I only want to say that once in a while it may become boring.

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><p>What is this hellish noise?<p>

I am trying to enjoy my afternoon cup of freshly brewed tea when angry shouts and yells reach my ears, breaching the calm of my seclusion.

I take a peek to human realm to find out who dares to interrupt my sacred time of meditation.

Ah, there they are - it seems as if the entire village of Fuuka moved out at once. They formed a procession that at the moment is heading through the forest to the hill where their ancestors built my altar a few ages ago.

With them they are probably leading a sacrifice to be killed and burned on the altar. I notice the movement amongst them, it seems that the beast is not that eager to be killed in the name of some long forgotten goddess.

I can't help but wonder what is it that they want of me in the exchange for their offering. I don't recall sending any particular plague or curse on those parts of land. No pleas nor prayers reached me in those past days either. So what this whole ruckus would be about?

And this sacrifice. I know that today's folk do not care much for legends, myths and holy stories. But is it too much for them to remember that I am not fond of their holocausts? I took a distant liking to the generation living about a millennium ago that took a cue from a story I inspired one of their bards to write, and decided to offer fruits and flowers on my altar. But besides them none other learned from the story. It seems to me that in their eyes a sacrificial lamb or calf will have much greater impact on my decision than something else. And because of that I have not only bear with the acrid smoke, but also find a creative way to dispose of this mass of meat each and every time.

But I digress too much.

Better to observe them and learn of their purpose this way.

The whole procession finally left the woods, entering the small clearing on top of the hill and I am able to take a closer look on the creature they plan to sacrifice.

Ara, surely they do not want to sacrifice her in the usual way, right?

Not this young girl of almost unearthly complexion, hair black with a hint of blue, and eyes more intensely green than any emerald this earth has ever born?

TBC

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><p>Here come Author's Notes.<p>

Thanks a lot for reading this little piece. It's my first time writing for this fandom and first time writing a story completely in English (so bear with any possible flaws ^^").

I kind of have the story outlined so there's quite a possibility of me continuing but no promises here. It's going to be RWP (Romance without Plot) :P

*sets a stand with free cookies for every reviewer*


	2. Chapter 1: The Sacrifice

Let's call this chapter an extended prologue.

Disclaimer: nope, still own nothing bar the new tea blend :D

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><p>Ara, surely they do not plan to sacrifice her in the usual way, right?<p>

I cannot tear my eyes from the struggling girl. Wandering with my sight over her lithe form, I notice several bruises on her fair, almost porcelain face. Her trip through the forest must have been a harsh one - there are twigs and leaves tangledinto her raven hair and her clothes are more than dotted with mud.

One of her guardians pulls at the binding rope and when she refuses to move faster, he slaps her with open hand. That, young man, is not how you should treat a lovely maiden. You have just earned yourself a bad case of diarrhoea for the next fortnight.

The girl seems unmoved by the slap, quickly getting to her feet and following her captors, never ceasing her fight for freedom. The scowl that never leaves her face, marring its beautiful features, coupled with the fire swirling in those deep green eyes, proves that she is going to fight until the very end: until they place her, arms and legs restrained by strong, flaxen ropes and mouth gagged with harsh cloth, on the woods arrangedon the altar and put a fire to it. Until they burn her alive, sacrificing her young life to my name.

What have you done, lovely one, for them to condemn you to such a cruel fate? Have you hurt them in any way or do they think it an honour to you?

In the meantime the villagers scatter on the hilltop, surrounding the altar. The men have already finished preparing the pyre of fragrant wood upon which their offering shall be burnt. I carefully scan the Fuukan mob: men and women of all ages gathered to witness the sacrificial ceremony. I even spot some children, running here and there, obviously waiting with their parents.

I am a goddess, I have lived through a lot of different times and ages but still cannot comprehend how they could consider a human's death a form of entertainment. What confuses me even more, is that they instil this horrid ideain their little ones, instead protecting their innocent minds and teaching them a value of life.

Three guards, armed with spears, have brought the girl to the altar, pushing her to her knees. She struggles to stand up, but heavy hands put on her narrow shoulders keep her kneeling. This induces a growl muffled by a gag, as my lovely sacrifice keeps frowning at the brutes.

The elderly man in rich clothes takes the place beside the maiden. From the way he bears himself one can easily tell that his is a position of power. Wanderingwith his sight over his fellow villagers, he slowly reigns them into silence. Under the authority exuding from his figure, even children stop their games and obediently return to their parents.

Taking one last look over his people, the chieftain of Fuuka clears his throat and raises his hands, obviously preparing to announce sacrificial acclamation.

Ah, finally. The reason for this whole circus, this madness that may easily cost somebody a life.

"Oh thee, mighty one, who rouses the sun to rise every morning and puts it to its sleep in the deepest chasms at the end of the day. Thee, who breathes life into all living creatures, having created them from the dirt of earthly soil, and when the time comes, harvests their souls, ripen into sweet fruits of our lowly human passions."

Honestly, I could never dare to take credit for that. Creation, as well as bringing life and taking it away, is the sole domain of The Most High One; The God, you may say. The One who has laid the foundations of this world and set rules which prevent me from intervening here and now, snatching the girl from those savages and saving her. The rules I am more and more willing to bend or even break, given the situation unfolding before my eyes.

"Thee, who has been blessing us with peace and abundant harvests for so many generations and who promised to grant us even more amazing graces if only we stay truthful to thy word."

This part would certainly be right on the spot if not for their disregard for my word in these past years, ages even. What made them recall those promises at this very point of time? And what is the connection between my promises and this sacrifice when I have never asked them for such offerings?

"Here we gather today, bringing thee the offering thou have asked for. The sacred maiden, untainted by low earthly pleasures, our human desires unknown to her. Untouched by any man in her whole life. The sweetest of our kin, ripen yet not tasted by any tongue."

Ara, a virgin? One of those hard to breed and thus extremely rare creatures? Do they not mistake me for someone else? Not that I can't appreciate their choice; they certainly do have some good taste…

The girl blushes at the chieftain's words, the light pink tint adorning her cheeks proving him true. And I cannot help but find her even more charming, despite the fact that she never ceases to glare at her captors. Slowly, carefully, as gentle as a breeze in the first hours of a new day, I reach to the maiden, touching her heart in an attempt to sooth its pain and sorrow. For it is a frown of anxiety that appears on her face now, not the one of the anger, even though she would want it to seem so.

My sweet damsel starts to look around, confused about this peace that entered her soul mere moments ago. Turning right and left, paying no heed to the crowd nor the chieftain, she's searching for its source but to no avail. Finally, she settles her emerald eyes on the earth, but a bit more composed than before, her delicate face tad smoother.

Full of himself and wrapped in his pride, the Fuukan chieftain carries on.

"Oh, great Viola-sama!"

If earlier I have had some doubts whether they really came here for me, now I have none of them. 'Viola-sama' is the sobriquet given to me by their ancestors sometime at the beginnings of my custody over them; the nickname originating from the first flowers blooming upon their once bare soil, the flowers which were a visible sign of my covenant with the people of this land.

"We bring her to thee, sacrificing the pure life thou have chosen by thyself."

At this point the elder man gives a sign to the brutes guarding my girl to heave her upon the altar. Although, I would never dare to call lifting her lithe frame 'heaving' and if any of them as much as huffs or winces under her weight they are going to join their slapping friend in his penitence.

It occurs to me that if I am ever to learn about the reasons of their madness, 'now' would be the best and probably the only possible moment. I carefully reach into the chieftain's mind; carefully so he would not notice my intrusion and not undermine my attempts. One by one, I sieve through his memories, finally picking out the one I am looking for.

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><p>Tiny village tavern. Dim lights that obscure the patrons' figures and hinder any attempt of recognising them undertaken by anyone who does not know them since birth. Leaden atmosphere, reeking with sweat of unwashed bodies, with poor-quality tobacco, and with homemade liquor brewed on whatever plants and ingredients were available<em>, <em>compared to which moonshine tastes almost like a champagne. Almost unbreathable air made even thicker by never-disappearing clouds of suffocating smoke.

It was in this gloomy surroundings where a group of Fuukans sat around a few small tables, drinking mouldy beer and talking: cursing meagre last-year harvest and the bloody weather that will probably damagethis year's as well, ranting about their wives and their never-ending demands, about their cheeky bastard kids and their excesses _- _all those things men usually talk about when left on their own.

But this stagnant meeting, repeating itself every evening, couldn't last forever. A commotion started at one of the tables and like a wave went through the whole room, bringing many of the patrons to their feet. And a yell followed the commotion:

"Oi, Chief! Blind Reito is seizing again!"

"Told him he should stop drinking this piss" came reply from the addressed man. The chieftain calmly finished his beer and only then stood up and moved towards the table where the commotion started. He regarded the glass of red wine standing on the table-top with cool aloofness. Honestly, who would want to drink this suspicious mixture when good old beer was at hand. "'Kay, folks, move back, give 'im some air. He'll be good in a couple."

The crowd thinned as people returned to their seats and picked up abandoned beverages. True to chieftain's word, the man soon stopped seizing, last weak tremors still shaking his body for the next few minutes. When he calmed down completely, the chieftain stooped to help him get up but moved back when Reito's eyes shot open, two completely white orbs almost glowing in the dimness of the room.

"I saw Her!"shouted Reito in a great voice. "She came to me in a lilac robe, violet sash gently hugging her hips, her presence enveloping me in a gentle smell of lavender! She came to me and I saw her as I see you here!"

"Right, right, you saw her" came mockingly laughing voices from all over the room. "We know you're a great talker and even greater seer!"

"Chieftain, I am speaking nothing but truth!" continued the man, sitting up and paying no attention to the jeers. "The great Viola-sama came to me and spoke with me as she would with her most faithful follower." His voice, calm and melodic, even if a bit rough from years of drinking, started to weave its spell upon his listeners. He exuded certain charisma which made people listen to him and - more often than not - bend to his opinions and advices. "She came to me and told me: My dear Reito she knows my name, oh what a bliss! My dear Reito, tell your people that I watch over you every day and every minute; I am most pleased with your past deeds and it is my wish to bless you even more in the coming days. I threw myself to her feet, trying to kiss the hem of her robe but she disallowed me, taking a step back and saying it's not necessary. If you really want to express your gratitude, if you want me to grant my blessings upon you - go to the old altar and bring me a gift fit for a goddess."

Some of the tavern's patrons started snickering or even outright laughing.

"Come on, Reito. You've been blind your whole life - how could you see anything? This sour piss you call wine messes with your head!"

"Will you already stop with this whole vision crap! Been there, done that - after doing stuff from your last 'vision' my fields are still bare and my cows give but a quarter of milk a week!"

"Give 'im beer, he's talking good! We need no more Reito's visions!"

Blind Reito bridled up at their comments.

"Do not believe me, if that is your will. But the infidels will be stricken by terrifying blight whilst the faithful followers Viola-sama will reward with abundant blessings! I swear on my mother's grave that I do not lie to you. Nothing is impossible for the great Viola-sama, even to grant a vision to the blind man, even to choose the one that is debased by many to be her humble messenger."

Snickering and whispers gradually wore down and died completely. Basking in this silence, Reito picked up where he left before Fuukans interrupted him.

"And then - after promising her plentiful blessings and graces - Viola-sama has shown me a glimpse of the offering suitable for the great goddess that she is, the perfect sacrifice which we are to bring her to the old altar on the hill, tomorrow afternoon."

Having now full and undivided attention of his listeners back, Blind Reito stopped weaving his yarn for a moment. He wanted to pick up their curiosity and succeeded in it completely, for once again murmurs arose - this time to encourage him to name the sacrifice. And so he proceeded, describing the final portion of his vision.

"In front of me, a girl stood, clothed in snow white robe - a proof of her purity, her waist-long, raven hair hanging free, moved by the blowing wind. And when she turned towards me, gracefully raising her head, I instantly recognised those green eyes, those haunting eyes she got from her mother."

Murmurs intensified - Fuukans were not at all comfortable with sacrificing a human being, much less when the sacrifice was to be one of them. The mention of easily recognisable emerald orbs made them all think of but one person - the girl orphaned very early by both parents, not very popular among villagers due to her cold façade, but still...

But the man speaking held a power over them, never ceasing to cast his spells on them, moulding them to his will. Or rather - to the will of the goddess, revealed to him in the vision.

And soon they followed his lead, snatching the girl from her chores, sparing her no humiliation when they disrobed her publicly to put the ceremonial white robe on the lithe body, and finally leading her to the hill - all of this without a word of explanation.

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><p>Stop! Enough! I do not wish to see this any further than that.<p>

I can't believe that. This unimaginable cruelness, this ridiculous sacrifice - all of this because of one drunkard's blabbering. I cannot - I refuse to accept this reasoning. If they only gave me a chance to intervene without breaking too many rules. For, as much as I want to save the girl, there is this part of me which strongly opposes any transgression.

It seems that The One is in a merciful mood today because Fuukan chieftain presents me with a great opportunity to stop them. Raising a burning torch, he claims in great voice:

"Viola-sama! We beg of thee: give us a sign if thou approve of our sacrifice."

Then he starts to lower the torch to set the pyre aflame. But his moves are slow and even a tad shaking as if he was anxious of not getting my approval.

So he wants a sign of my approving this offering and he wants it so badly that he would probably be willing to resign on this sacrificial ceremony if I disapproved. Then let it be.

I withdraw all my powers working in the area, ceasing any influence I might have on the nature. The altar hill becomes surrounded by stillness - not one that foretells of a storm coming, but rather a calm stillness of a morn: of those peaceful moments when gentle breeze wakes up all living creatures.

At first it seems that my decision was right - this unexpected peacefulness makes people anxious. They start to murmur and whisper to one another, and their chieftain raises the torch back. You are right, I do not want your sacrifice. I do not thirst for her blood!

I should know better. After all those years of observing people, I should know that some of them are at least as stubborn as mules and can explain every single phenomenon in a way that suits their plans and visions. Just as I begin to calm down and believe they are going to set the girl free, an enchanting voice rises above the general tumult.

"We wanted a sign, people, and we got it!" shouts from the back the man I recognise as the Blind Reito, the very same drunk that put forth the proposal of this atrocious sacrifice. "Don't you get it? If she had something against, she would show us some force and not send this peace and calm!"

If it is force that you need to get some rational thinking into that thick head of yours, then the force will you get! Without a second thought I discharge a deafening thunder which sends all those fools on the ground.

While they try to get back to their feet, I take a quick look on the girl. I discover that she finally ceased fighting, lying still among the fragrant wood. Yet, when she lifts her eyelids, I am stricken by the pride and defiance shining oh-so-brightly in those tear-glazed green orbs. And I cannot help but adore her even more: this girl trying to face imminent death with as much dignity as she can manage. Others at her place would be by now reduced to whimpering mess of tears and pleas for mercy. But not her. Not my brave maiden.

Smiling at the fire in her eyes, I wonder what she would do when set free. I never get the chance to finish this thought as the drink-hoarsened voice once again resounds on the hill.

"Have you heard that? She agrees with me! Go through with the ceremony, chieftain, and long years of prosperity await our village!"

Still not entirely sure and more than little anxious, the chieftain revives the flames on his torch and without further ado puts it to the pyre. Dry grass and kindling immediately set on fire, crackling happily, flames licking thicker branches.

That is enough, I say! I will not stand those blood-craving fools any longer. Damned be the rules and damned be the punishment that awaits me for breaking them. In a blink of an eye I summon strong northern wind which comes with a raging storm, pouring enormous amounts of freezing cold water with such a fierceness that momentarily puts out the flames and forces people to take cover under the trees. That is - if they managed to get up from the ground, pushed to their knees by the initial onslaught of rain.

One place is saved from this fury - and that is atop of the altar, where the girl stirs with widened eyes, trying to make sense of what is happening around her.

The storm eventually wears down so I shroud the hilltop with thick fog that would cover my taking the girl. No glimpse of the descending goddess for them, cruel humans - not now and not in the next thousand years.

Having sent a deep sleep on the courageous beauty, I step down from my heavenly seclusion and into the human realm. Seeing this pale skin and contrasting with it raven-black hair, for a moment I almost forget about my purpose, enraptured by this uncommon combination of strength and fragility.

The sound of people calling one another brings me back to reality. And when one disaster-bringing voice comes closer and closer to the altar, I start moving faster than human thought. Snatching the unconscious girl from the altar, I cradle her to my chest and step back into heavenly realm, leaving final evidences of my power at the hilltop.

When the mists fall - which will happen in the next few quarters - the Fuukans will see their precious fragrant wood scattered all over the place, the altar of their ancestors cracked in half, and their charismatic Blind Reito half-paralyzed from the stroke.

One may ask - why did I not kill him if I wanted a revenge. I already mentioned that: the giving and taking of life lies not in my domain. And I wanted him to feel for the rest of his life at least a bit of what my girl had to experience during her time at the hilltop. Being partially paralyzed, he will have to rely on others in every moment, every little action of his. Am I cruel? Maybe, but he deserved that.

And now I am standing here, at the threshold of my house, holding this beautiful child in my arms. It occurs to me that in a way Fuukans have succeeded in sacrificing her to me for she cannot go back to the village.

Being a god has its perks - one may be worshipped and be a cause of miracle or two.

But being a god has also its flaws - I do not possess the power of foreseeing the future. Thus I cannot help but wonder: what the upcoming days - hours even - will bring us?

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><p>Time for some Author's Ramblings :)<p>

First things firsts: thanks an awful lot to all wonderful creatures of you who took your time to read and some even - oh, what a bliss ;) - to write a review. Reading them I got all giddy, and just a moment later - all down. Like, you know, I started nicely so will I manage to keep the quality and not disappoint and so on.

So, hopefully, this chapter was worth waiting for.

Two warnings - one, uno, eins, ichi: this story is one heck of an experiment for me so anything may happen in terms of universe construction and writing style :P

And the second one - for those who missed the Romance and Shizuru F. & Natsuki K. tags at the top of this page, and the RWP note last chapter - this is going to be kind of yuri or girl on girl love. Do not like - do not read. Nothing really explicit, mostly attempts and suggestions but still...

That should be all... Nope, one more thing: keep your fingers crossed, my Boss is thinking about employing me for a bit longer (which'd mean less worries, more writing ^^).

*no cookies this time 'cause I killed the last batch of choux pastries...*


	3. Chapter 2: The Night

It all started in a fire.

So it is no wonder that the end resembled a flame snuffed aborning, its last flickers for but an eyeblink lightening what was to become a dreadful darkness.

And as I sit here, once again drinking my tea - this seclusion of mine no longer peaceful but rather forlorn - I cannot help but once more recollect those days that now seem no different than the dreams filling my lonely nights.

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><p>When I came back to my heavenly household with the beautiful girl in my arms, it was almost twilight; the greyness beginning to envelop human realm as well as this place of mine. It was only then when I really noticed the battered state she was in.<p>

Long ceremonial dress - once white as snow, now stained with many traces of grass and mud - hung in shrouds around her legs. I wish I could miss those scratches, reddening on her porcelain limbs, or the bruise adorning her left cheek, or at least the burns caused by the rope tightened around her slim wrists. But they were there: undeniable proofs of what she had to go through.

Once again I could feel the anger towards those who were the reason of her sufferings rising in my bowels. The girl's restless stirring in her sleep brought me back from the reveries revolving around my exerting justice on her tormentors. Time may come for revenge but right now other matters should take priority. For one, I could - and felt obliged to - take care of the maiden's injuries.

Holding her closely to myself, like a child lost in a fog that needs protection, I stepped further into my house, making my way to the bathroom.

You may wonder - why take her to the bath when I could as easily heal her wounds and restore her cleanliness there and then given my godly powers and all. Let me ask this: do you reach for a plough to plant a geranium in a pot on your window? Or do you kill a calf when you feel like taking a light snack? There is a time and place for everything: sometimes the circumstances call for a great power to be put into use and sometimes things should be done in a usual way, without overusing one's abilities.

Waiting for hot water to fill the bathtub, I mused over another reason behind my decision. Living in a seclusion, deprived of another's company, can you really blame me for taking a chance to enjoy such a beauty when presented to me? Not that I had anything indecent in mind, mind you. Simple appreciation of her features, so close to perfection, would be enough. At least for the moment.

Soon the tub was full to the brim and the rising steam filled the bathroom with sweet aroma of jasminum bath salt. I took my time disrobing the maiden, slowly untying knots holding her dress and slipping it down her slim shoulders. Oh, the wonders I discovered that evening, the treasures revealed to my eyes! Those pert breasts, pale and round like twin moons; not particularly ample but I was sure they would fit perfectly in my hands. Those toned muscles of her abdomen, speaking volumes of her physical prowess, yet not taking even an ounce from her femininity. And finally - the source of all sweetness, the flower the nectar from which none have tasted... Alas! hidden from my eyes by a meagre piece of lace. Something stirred deep inside of me, some need I had almost forgotten. The need that kept whispering to my ear, urging me to take the lacy underwear off as well, to bare the girl completely so that my eyes can truly feast on preciousness before them. But then I asked myself: if those savage villagers decided to save this last bit of her modesty, who am I to act otherwise? Would I not prove myself even less civilised than them, rendering her naked solely for my pleasure?

Slowly, I lowered the still unconscious maiden into the tub, keeping her carefully propped so that she would not accidentally slip under the surface. I scooped some water and began pouring it over her head while chanting words of a blessing.

"Through this water you were born. Through this water you were cleansed. Through this water your thirst is quenched. May this water heal your wounds. May this water restore your health. May this water wash off your fatigue."

My hand followed the droplets falling down her body, my fingers gently trailing down her neck to her shoulders and further - to the valley between her breasts. Light blush adorned the girl's cheeks and I smiled to myself, finally resting my hand on the flat of her stomach. This lovely sight caused the stirring inside me to re-emerge and this need urged me to dip my hand even lower, to probe deeper, to explore this uncharted territory. Something deep inside me wanted to taste those fragile lips, slightly parted as if in an invitation; to kiss those emerald orbs, now hidden behind the lowered eyelids, to blow puffs of air into those elfin ears and watch her reaction...

I finished the girl's ablutions in a great haste.

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><p>Warm night, full of peace and calm. Soft cries of cicadas mixed with quiet rustle of gingko trees. The sky of deep navy blue, dotted with myriads and myriads of stars, twinkling in intricate patterns. Gentle breeze, sweeping through the land, whispering bedtime stories to all those who could not find a rest even at this hour.<p>

It was in this night that I sat, on the inner veranda of my household, holding the sleeping girl in my arms; holding her so close to my heart as if I wanted us to become one, as if to prevent anyone from stealing her from me. This lovely child, given to me by those unable to appreciate her real worth... How peaceful would she sleep in my arms, nuzzling into me from time to time and snuffling... Her closeness filled me with such a warmth, with such a tenderness that any previous stirrings calmed down and decided to stay at bay. At least for the moment.

Looking into the sleeping face, I was almost caught unaware when the twin eyelids slowly rose, revealing green irises, their hue deepened by the remnants of sleep. She blinked once, and again, and finally mumbled:

"Hi..."

"Hello," I smiled softly at the sight. "How are you feeling, lovely one?"

"Warm..." Her voice, a bit husky, has gained even more depth from its sleepiness.

The girl blinked a few more times, yawned mightily and finally stretched her slender arms above her head. Only then did she notice her half-dishabille, the towel wrapped around her body slipping dangerously low. "Yikes!"

She jumped away, nervously grabbing the towel to prevent it from falling completely. I tried to stifle the amusement from her frantic actions but I couldn't stop a chuckle. The sound turned her attention away from the cloth to lavish it upon me.

"O-Oi! Who're you?" She pointed a finger at me and this sudden movement caused the towel to slip a bit lower, exposing her cleavage. The forbidden valley immediately caught my eyes; she noticed this and followed my sight. "Pervert!"

With this, she turned on her heel, arms crossed over her chests, mumbling something indignantly.

I took pity on her, materializing simple shirt and pants, and handing them to her. She eyed my gift begrudgingly but eventually accepted it and put the clothes on.

The silence between us was heavy, each passing second punctuated with her glower. As I was going to somehow break it, she cleared her throat and repeated her question.

"Ara, does my charming guest not remember what had happened?" Lack of understanding in her eyes caused me to prompt further. "This afternoon... on the hill... at the old, forgotten..."

"...altar."

The recollection of those dreadful events dawned in her eyes. Barely moments later those deep emerald irises snapped back to me.

"Ok, I remember those idiots from my village and their blabbering something 'bout a goddess and a sacrifice_._ I remember the pyre and the rain. But most certainly I don't remember you. So?"

I smiled playfully under her glare.

"Ara, it seems that these days one ought to introduce oneself before rescuing a damsel in distress... Shame on me then for neglecting this requirement earlier. I deeply hope such a kind girl as yourself will find it in her heart to forgive this little slip of mine." I bowed my head to her. "If I shall be allowed..." Wrapping myself in a lilac kimono, I continued the introduction. "Some call me Viola and for one I am..."

"A goddess? Y-you're kidding, right?" My silence caused her poise to shatter. The girl took a step back, eyes wide and arms raised in front of her, refusing to accept my words. When their inevitability finally sunk into her mind, she quickly covered her eyes and fell to her knees, bowing so low that her forehead almost touched the floor. "Forgive me, Viola-kamisama... Don't make me blind and lame."

"Why should I ever..." For The One's sake! Those self-appointed prophets of mine and their stories of what I would and would not do to my followers, even for something as simple as looking at me askew. "Fear nor, lovely one" I reassured the girl still cowering at my feet. "Give me your name and you shall be forgiven any misdeeds, past and future."

"N-Natsuki."

"Natsuki..." I repeated the name, finding delight in the way it rolled off my tongue. "Come, do not bow before me."

I helped her to her feet and noticing the doubtfulness on her face, I asked for its reason.

"If you're a goddess, couldn't you - I don't know - read my mind to know my name? Or something like that?"

"I am most deeply sorry for letting Natsuki down but it occurred to me that she would not appreciate such an intrusion on her privacy. How would she feel if I took not only her name but also some of the most precious memories?"

"Ugh... thanks then, I guess."

Light smile tugged at the corners of my mouth when I asked:

"And what would be Natsuki thanking me for?"

The dark head bowed down, its owner suddenly taking vivid interest in her own bare feet and restlessly wiggling toes.

"Thanks for... saving my life, I guess."

"Natsuki is most welcome."

The radiant smile she sent my way at that moment was overwhelming and I knew that I would do anything to keep it near me for as long as possible.

In a meanwhile, my guest started fidgeting and scanning her surroundings surreptitiously. Noticing this, I inquired innocently:

"Is something wrong, my dear?"

"No, Viola-kamisama... I just..." Natsuki finally focused her eyes on me and I was granted a glimpse of this exquisite green. "Think I should get going... Don't want to impose on you."

"I would never go as far as calling Natsuki's company imposing."

"Still, I have to find someplace to sleep. It's getting late and obviously I can't go back to the village."

"Ara, I think that my lovely guest has forgotten about something quite important." At the confusion in her eyes, I hinted: "Natsuki has just thanked me for saving her life. Surely, she does not deem it undeserving of a reward, right?"

Her face lit up instantly.

"R-right! That's what I meant! I need to go... somewhere... somewhere else so I can get you a reward fit for a goddess! I have nothing with me so I have to go and get it - that's exactly what I meant!"

She turned on her heel and stomped forward, eager to leave my presence. She did not went far, however, when my calm voice stopped her in her tracks.

"In my humble opinion, Natsuki do not need to go anywhere for my reward as I see something more than perfect right in front of my eyes."

Upon hearing my words, Natsuki frozen in place.

"W-what do you mean?"

Before answering, I walked round the girl, wanting to witness her reaction to my next words.

"I would feel most honored if Natsuki rewarded me with the same thing the villagers wanted to give me. You yourself would be the best reward possible." She must have had at least a faint idea of where I was going - I saw the first sparks of understanding in her eyes. Not allowing her to cut in, I finished: "Of course, this would mean making Natsuki completely mine."

Oh, Heavens! This utterly shocked expression on her face - priceless.

Natsuki must have hoped that she misheard something, as she inquired, stuttering every second word:

"M-make yours? As i-in have s-s-se... s-s..." This last word was too much for her so I took pity and interrupted her mumbling.

"Just like that, my lovely one. I want to touch and kiss, to explore every inch of your body, to map all its curves and crevices..."

"Stop! I... don't want to do this... I..." She gathered all courage to look me in the eyes, at least for a moment. "I'd bring you anything you want... anything, just don't ask me for this."

"Ara, but there is nothing else I want... Only to have my Na-tsu-ki."

"N-no... no..." My lovely girl attempted one last protest, but those silent pleas were directed towards her own feet.

I swept lustrous black hair away from her eyes and cradled her face in my hands.

"Why is Natsuki so afraid of letting me make love to her? Can it be so because it would be her first time? I promise to be gentle, I would never dare to mar such a precious jewel as yourself." I slowly dipped my head and seized those pink lips, tasting their sweet nectar - even sweeter by the grace of me being the first to drink it from this soft cup. For a moment I thought that Natsuki would give in, surrender herself to me. For one delightful moment the bliss I partook in fooled me into thinking that it would last. My hands found their way down, resting on those petite breasts, caressing them with feather-light touches...

Yet the never-ending pleasure is granted neither to humans, nor to gods and soon enough Natsuki forcefully pushed me away. I stumbled backwards and still in a little bit of a daze, I Iicked my lips, trying to keep this flavour for as long as possible.

"Ara, what was that for?" I wondered aloud, taking in the pink tint on the girl's cheeks and her raised like a shield hands.

"I didn't consent to that! I don't want this... not like this..." Shaking her head, Natsuki took a step back, hugging herself tightly. Her eyes were full of anxiety bordering with fear, their light almost completely dimmed. I should have respected this, stop there and then, turn my advances into an immature joke. But the stirring in my bowels compelled me to push further.

"Have Natsuki already forgotten about her fellow Fuukans' declaration?" I put hands on her shoulders, sliding the shirt off them, feeling her cold skin, and bringing her closer to me. "You are my sacrifice, you have been given to me, lovely one. Therefore, I feel entitled to call Natsuki my property." I closed her in my arms. "And I deem it redundant to ask for permission before using what I consider mine."

She tensed in my hold, her lean muscles on the verge of snapping.

"Then you may as well put me back on that altar for the Fuukans to kill. That's what they planned to do, right? Or save them the trouble and kill me yourself, Viola-kamisama."

"And why, pray tell, should I do that? Dead Natsuki would give me no pleasure..." I held her tighter and she started to struggle against me. "Nor would she be able to enjoy my ministrations." I blew gently into her ear, causing shivers travel down her spine.

Natsuki's struggle picked up on intensity, her arms flailing wildly and trying to push me away, her legs trying to land a kick. All of it - to no avail. My grasp on her slim body was like that of an iron shackle - unbucking, unmoving.

Soon enough I decided I was fed up with this useless fight. Sending another puff of air into Natsuki's ear, I rendered her limbs paralysed. The maiden hang limply in my arms, her weight resting fully against me.

"Ara, it seems to me that Natsuki is so tired that she can't even stand on her own."

"No... don't do this... Viola-kamisama...please, no..."

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

"And she doesn't have the strength to speak. It is definitely time to go to bed."

I scooped her in my arms like a bride and proceeded to the bedroom. Natsuki nuzzled into me, hiding her face in my shoulder, never ceasing her quiet pleas and begging. Her actions amazed me: should she not rather try to get away from me, to escape her saviour-turned-tormentor?

Once we reached my bedroom, I gently placed my sweet load on the rolled-out futon. Her wide open green eyes, moments before full of fear, now got panicky, darting from one place to another. The girl resembled a caged animal, looking for the slightest chance to break free. Her breath, quickened and shallow, rose her chest in irregular intervals. Pleas and begging were on the verge of turning into miserable whimpers. A single tear escaped a corner of her eye and slowly slid down...

I kneeled by the girl and bowed, bringing our faces together. Swiping raven hair away from her eyes, I whispered:

"I want Natsuki to remember one thing." Her restless eyes focused on me. "Whatever my desires might be, I would never - remember, never - hurt you."

For the briefest of moments, I kissed her trembling lips and pulled back.

"I am going to release your limbs now, alright?" Having got an uncertain nod in confirmation, I slid my hands along her arms and legs, lifting the paralysis. Natsuki moved them slightly, as if just to confirm that my words were true. I smiled at the confusion painted on her face. "You should rest for now, we can talk this through tomorrow morning."

I bent to place a goodnight kiss on her sweaty forehead and made my way out, feeling a suspicious glare on my back until I slid the shouji screen shut.

* * *

><p>Unlike humans, gods do not need to eat, nor to sleep. Still, as the cycle of night and day repeats itself even in heavens, we do sometimes indulge in those earthly pleasures. Those little rituals, while doing nothing for our sustenance, are a great help in passing time; afternoon tea, midnight nap, little feast every fortnight - each of them has its own time and place and thus gives rhythm to our timeless existence.<p>

Not to mention that they are a reminder of times before we became gods.

Having left Natsuki in my own bedroom, I went back to the veranda where I focused on the paths in the sand and succumbed to a light meditation.

I let my thoughts free and so they wandered, back and forth, between the girl - her innocent sleeping face and fragile beauty - and the need which once awoken by her charms never left my very being. Sifting through numerous possible outcomes of the day's events, trying to foretell the course of my next conversation with Natsuki - I deeply hoped to arrive at the best possible decision.

Though I could not tell if by "best" I meant an outcome beneficial to both or only to one of us...

* * *

><p>First rays of the dawning sun washed over my face, pulling me out of meditation. Still without a definite answer to my doubts, I decided it was time to face Natsuki.<p>

Throughout the night I was more or less aware of her actions; for she did not succumb to sleep after I had left the room. Rather, she waited till gaining certainty I won't be coming back and then carefully set upon exploration of my household, probably in order to find a way out. Apparently, it did not occur to her that the way from heavens to the human realm is a tad more complicated than just through the door.

When I found her, Natsuki tried to climb the golden gate, richly ornamented symbolic entrance to my domain.

"I wouldn't do that."

She halted her climb but did not go down.

"If I were you, I would not try to escape over this gate" I repeated in a calm voice.

"And why is that?" She jumped down and eyed me curiously. "You're not trying something just to have your way with me, do you?"

"The woods you see behind the gate," I decided to pretend that I did not notice her second question. "Are but a mere illusion. It is as if a curtain was thrown over the void surrounding my piece of heaven. You won't find a freedom there, only death."

"So what am I to do? Stay here and wait for you to rape me?"

This accusation stung like a whip - I would never go so far as to force anyone into a sexual act. Never.

Still, I did not let it show, all the time keeping perfect façade of a calm and gentle smile.

"Since it is obvious that Natsuki cannot go back to Fuuka, I wanted to propose just that: for her to stay with me." The solution I spent whole night meditating on just came to me, so before the girl could interrupt, I added: "As my companion."

"C-companion?" She sent me a suspicious glare. "As in someone to keep you company, talk with you and stuff?"

"'Tis exactly what I hope for."

"No s-se... no touching included?"

"Ara, if Natsuki wants to touch then who am I to deny her?"

She huffed mightily at my mischievous smile and indicated as if she were going to leave.

"Can't you be serious?"

"Yes, that is the kind of company I had in mind" I said quietly, almost in a whisper, to hide this slight quiver in my voice.

"And if I don't want to stay?"

This question, asked in seemingly carefree manner, unleashed another stirring in me. The one that made me hold tightly to my façade, to this mask of politeness. In times like this there was only one way for me: to tease.

"I can try to bribe Natsuki... Or persuade her to stay... maybe by kissing her senseless, until she'd beg for more?" I wondered aloud, hoping she would take the bait.

And so she did, though not in the way I had hoped for.

"You know what? I'm going to take my chances with the void" stated Natsuki, once more climbing the gate.

"Wait" I begged in a quiet voice. "I'll... I will tell you."

Natsuki joined me on the ground but despite my earlier declaration, I could not force myself to answer her question and thus seal our future.

"So? If I said I won't stay, what would you do?" insisted the girl, trying to look me into eyes.

I avoided her scrutiny and moved past her, closer to the gate. Resting my hand on the cold metal bars I wondered what my answer to this question should be and what outcome it would bring. Eventually, having made sure that she does not see my face and will not be able to notice any stray emotion slipping from under my mask, I started in a low voice:

"In such a case, Natsuki would leave me only one choice..." I heard her breath hitch, her anxiety almost palpable. If she only knew the true depth of my dreams and desires, she would lose breath for more than just this moment. She would squirm and tremble, fighting to break free and flee where I could not reach her. But there she was, coming closer, trying to decipher my emotions, to guess what I was about to say about her future. Then let it be, I thought, let me say what must be said. And so I finished: "Bound by your word, I shall open the gate and let you go."

"What? You can't do that! You can't... keep... me..."

Natsuki's yelling gradually turned into a whisper and eventually died completely. She must have already presumed my response and when my quiet words actually sunk into her mind, she became uneasy and started fidgeting.

"Like... for real? You'd let me go?"

I said nothing to that, gazing into the void that existed outside of my domain, under the mirage of thick woods. I might have desired her, I might have wanted her to stay and keep me company more than anything else - but I would never imprison her. This had already happened once in the past and I promised myself then that such a thing would never repeat itself. Before I could go back to the memories of that time though, a quiet voice, barely above a whisper, reached my ears.

"I guess I could stay then." A soft rumbling sounded in the background of her admission. "At least for a breakfast..."

I couldn't help but chuckle over such a confession. No sooner had the sound escaped my lips than Natsuki turned away and send me a glare, probably trying to kill me with it or at least force into the silence. Soon, my chuckling turned into a giggle... Oh, heavens, when had I had such an amusing companion for the last time?

"Oi, don't laugh at me! You do have some real food, right? Not this heavenly, godly, celestial whatever-it-is that you gods eat?"

Suppressing the laughter, though the mirth probably still resided in my eyes, I responded with as much solemnity as I could muster under such circumstances:

"Of course, I will prepare whatever Natsuki wishes to consume."

Her eyes lit as those of a child who is promised a perfect gift and she started walking back to the house. I followed her when she suddenly stopped in the middle of a yard.

"Ne..." started Natsuki, a touch of uncertainty present in her tone. "What should I call you?" Noticing my questioning look, she quickly added: "Because Viola-kamisama is kinda... longish..."

My lips once again forming into a smile, I stated contentedly:

"Shizuru. You may call me Shizuru."

* * *

><p>And so she stayed.<p>

For the breakfast. And then just a bit longer for some small talk. Then for the sunset because I have told her that nowhere will she find such a perfect spot to watch it as in my domain. Then it was too late to wander anywhere and so she stayed the night. And another day.

And somehow the cold, golden gate fell into oblivion.

* * *

><p>And it's Author's Ramblings time :D<p>

First things first: great kudos for my new Beta! You know, the girl actually understands how punctuation and articles work ^^" She's amazing, ne?

Whew, I can't believe it's been two months since the last chapter. Time flies by so quickly these days... :D I think I'll stick to this once-a-two-months schedule - I know, I'm no ShayP nor ethnewinter to be waited for half a year or so, but I hope you'll stick with me anyway :)

So, I know there's this little tradition to put something up for Natsuki's birthday. The third chapter is already in progress but it won't be finished that soon. All I can offer you would be a fragment of it (sth around 1k words or so), an introduction to a bigger scene - do you want me to publish it then or would you rather wait till somewhere in September for a complete chapter? :)

Enough with ramblings, now it's time for you to express your disappointment in your reviews :D

Have a nice day, people :)


	4. Chapter 3: Sticky Sticks

Hi, people! It seems that this 'a thousand words fragment' I mentioned last time grew a bit and became a complete chapter ^.^ This is un-beta'ed, because I wanted to publish it for Natsuki's birthday.

Enjoy! :D

* * *

><p>"No, I won't!"<p>

The fierceness, the fire burning in her deep green eyes.

"Yes, you will."

The calmness and equanimity as my only response.

"No, I won't. And you can't make me, remember?"

Cheeky brat, always reminding me of the promise from the beginnings.

"Yet, I can always try to persuade you. Will your answer change if I offer you a big bowl of sticky sticks?" Her expression teetering somewhere between disbelief, indignation and barely hidden amusement, I quickly added: "After all, I do not ask for anything more than a little cuddling."

Natsuki harrumphed and looked away. Seeing this, I inched a bit closer, like a huntress closing upon her prey.

"Why the long face? If Natsuki expresses such a wish, I will consider adding an extra portion of mayo to the deal, so she will know my generosity." Rosy hue slowly crept up her porcelain cheeks; I decided to strike while it's hot. Tilting my head slightly and thoughtfully putting a finger to my chin, I followed, "I may even go as far as to serve this delicacy on my own naked body. What would you say to this, Na-tsu-ki?"

A hitched breath and then...

"Sh-Shi..."

The bomb was ticking. Three... two... one...

* * *

><p>A few weeks have passed since Natsuki agreed to stay with me.<p>

Unfortunately, our companionship was nowhere near what I had imagined it to be, for after the first day Natsuki started to avoid me, constantly depriving me of her presence. Bar the mealtimes and those few occasions when we accidentally bumped into each other in the hallways of my household, we shared little to no words. Every time I wanted to sit down and talk about sweet nothings, the girl excused herself under the most trifling of reasons.

I resolved to my forte: teasing; remarks seemingly innocent, yet not without hidden agenda. Alas! even this weapon, which I have mastered for so many ages, failed miserably. Whenever I tried to engage her in a simple conversation, spicing it a tad with some frivolous remark, Natsuki sent me an exasperated look and - more often than not - fled the room. Soon enough I found out that those flights were meant to hide a blush spreading on her face, a lovely tint in all shades of red adorning her pale features. The discovery that this embarrassing carnation was not the only cause of the situation took me a bit longer.

It was well into the third week of our living together when I noticed one more thing accompanying Natsuki's flights. Tired of our endless cat-and-mouse game, I caught the slim wrist, thus hindering her escape. The girl turned around and whipped her head up.

"Let go of me!"

"A-ara..."

Perplexed by the emotions in the deep emerald eyes, I released her arm and watched as she disappeared behind a shoji screen.

What I saw in those stunning orbs - was that anxiety? Apprehension, bordering with fear? Could she have really been that afraid of me?

The pleading look I caught in her eyes at that moment kept haunting me for the next few days. Eventually, I realized that it wasn't me that she was afraid of, but rather what I could do to her, what I mentioned so lightly and freely in my teasings. To confirm my suspicions I tried to tone those remarks down, if not to forsake them completely for a week or so.

It turned out that I was right: Natsuki, in her childlike innocence, took my playful threats and proposals seriously and seeing no way to defend herself from my unwanted advances, she resolved to avoiding them altogether. If I wanted for our companionship to continue, I needed to earn her trust.

Pondering this problem, I wandered into the kitchen - there is nothing like a cup of hot tea to facilitate and improve one's thinking. I never reached the stove, though, as a sight encountered in the kitchen stopped me in my tracks.

There, at the dark wooden table-top, Natsuki stood, wielding a santoku knife and chopping something with a content air to her figure. I observed her for a while in silence: a happy child, entirely engrossed in her activity, oblivious to her surroundings. Carefree smile, illuminating her features, was so unlike the usual scowl that the sight enraptured me completely and I could have adored it forever, if not for the sudden stop of the unrhythmical staccato of the knife and board. Natsuki noticed my intrusion and froze, unsure of whether or not she should flee. To ease the uncomfortable silence that engulfed us, I asked quietly:

"Would Natsuki mind if I kept her company, sitting here and watching silently?"

She eyed me suspiciously, as if waiting for a tease but since none came, she nodded and went back to cutting. The tea long forgotten, I sat by the table and for the first time took notice of what she was preparing: never before had I seen her working in the kitchen. True, she knew how to find certain things in my pantry, but she usually used this knowledge to get some snacks, not the actual cooking ingredients. Now, a medium-sized bamboo bowl was half filled with unevenly cut pieces of assorted vegetables.

Apparently noticing my curiosity, Natsuki stated, her eyes never leaving the sharp blade:

"I'm making sticky sticks." I could not help wondering what was 'sticky' about fresh carrot or cucumber, but before I asked, Natsuki explained, "They're just sticks now, the sticky part will come later."

"Ookini, Natsuki."

She peeked from under dark bangs, and soon a bright smile followed this peek. Basking in it, I smiled back and the silence became more bearable, comfortable even.

"Ne, Shizuru," her eyes focused intently on a particularly hard piece of parsnip, careful not to cut the slim fingers, "How come you don't have a flower wreath hung in a window? It's Day of Flight today, right?"

Day of flight? The name did sound familiar yet I could not recall where and when have I heard it for the last time. It couldn't have been that long ago; still, the memory had some ancientsome ring to it. The answer kept slipping from my grasp when Natsuki picked up my confusion.

"It's today, right? Day of Flight, the holiday to celebrate how one girl was saved from starvation by goddess Viola..." here the husky voice cracked, as Natsuki realized what she has been saying. Blush crept to her cheeks and she hung her head in embarrassment.

Natsuki's words rang a bell, though. I recalled times - half a millenium ago, give or take a few decades - when a group of people used to celebrate around this part of a year. They would decorate their houses with floral wreaths, which were later laid upon my altar, and spend some quality time with their loved ones. Yet, those days were long gone by and now the tradition was forgotten, though not completely, if I were to believe Natsuki's words.

I looked at my girl, her face still hidden behind the veil of raven hair, her hands fiddling restlessly with the knife. Could I use this opportunity to earn her trust or at least make her open to me a bit? Just this tiny little bit that would allow her to feel comfortable in my presence and not fear it?

"Could you tell me something more about this celebration, Natsuki? About its origins as well, perhaps? I'm afraid that my memory got a little rusty from the years of solitude." Green orbs peeked from under their veil, suspicious but not without a hint of curiosity. "In return, I would help you with cutting those sticks of yours."

The intent gaze moved back to the cutting board and then once again to me, studying my expression; eventually, Natsuki passed her utensils to me and disappeared into the pantry. I waited with unease, but she emerged after a few minutes with a bowl of eggs, a flask of finest oil and another one - she took the plug off and I caught a faint whiff of rice vinegar.

"The sticky part," explained Natsuki casually, while cracking the egg, separating its yolk and beating it with a whisker. I observed, not without a surprise, that her movements became smoother as if much more practiced.

With the oil slowly trickling to the bowl and her left hand whisking the mixture in a steady manner, Natsuki started her story. Slowly at first, and quietly, but soon her voice gained more depth and a story-telling quality.

"There once was a girl known as Reki. Nobody knew if it was her name or if she was just called this way for her behaviour. And for this or that reason she was forced to leave her village."

I let myself be entranced by the skilful movements of Natsuki's hands and by the rough cadence of her voice.

"For a few days Reki wandered in the forest south of the Guri Mountain, eating nothing but wild berries and drinking spring water. Finally, hungry, cold and weary, she sat by a great oak and prayed for either divine rescue or quick, merciful death. After that, she fell asleep and slept till the twilight chill woke her up. In the quickly falling darkness the girl noticed a light in a short distance..

Reki mustered all her strength to reach this light, which turned out to be a small cabin. She knocked the door once and twice, and thrice even but to no response_._ As the night was creeping closer with every minute, she excused herself and entered the cabin.

To her astonishment, there was no sign of a human being inside, save for the burning fire and a stew in a pot hung above it. Reki decided that it was not the time to question such a chance and warmed herself up and partook in the stew. Later, she stretched upon furs laid in front of the fireplace because she didn't dare to venture to the adjacent room in search of a proper bed.

The next morning, Reki awoke in the most comfortable bed in her life - the covers warm, and the pillow soft and fluffy. By her side a woman sat - a woman of eyes crimson as the rich wine. The girl started to apologise for trespassing but the woman just smiled gently and told her that she was free to stay in the cabin for as long as she'd like.

Reki stayed there for a few years while the woman kept visiting her every evening, keeping company but never sharing the food and never, even though the girl pleaded and begged for it, never revealing her name. Autumns turned into winters and winters gave place to springs, then summers took reign only to be overthrown by autumns. This cycle repeated itself over and over, till one day the mysterious woman came earlier than usually.

The spring was in its fullest and Reki was sitting in front of the cabin, weaving small flower wreaths when her benefactress appeared, clothed in a lilac kimono, a bottle of wine in her hand. She gracefully accepted the flower wreath to adorn her head and asked Reki to prepare a feast for this was to be their last evening together; the girl's persecutors were dead and she could safely return to her village.

Over the last glass of wine, the mysterious woman introduced herself to Reki as the goddess Viola and disappeared from her eyes. The girl returned safely to her old home and never saw the goddess again. After that, every year she prepared a feast for her dear ones and later placed a small flower wreath on Viola-kamisama's altar. At least that's the story Auntie Mai taught us when we were kids."

Somewhere through Natsuki's story we moved to the inner veranda, enjoying evening breeze and drinking green tea. The vegetable sticks and whitish sticky paste waited in the kitchen for dinner time.

"Ah, Reki... Yes, I remember now." I smiled to my companion, silently enjoying her closeness. "It was almost as in your story, albeit I would never thought it would be a reason for celebration so many years later."

Truth be told, Reki escaped her village not because of persecutions, but because she could not bring herself to trust anyone. I found her living in a lonely hut and offered the same deal I did to Natsuki: I would provide for her and in exchange she would keep me company. Reki agreed and though our relationship never crossed the boundary of simple friendship, I immensely enjoyed our evening talks. Finally, my companion decided she was ready to live with people, to take the risk of trusting them.

To see this turned into a legend and celebrated in a special manner... People will never cease to amaze me.

Soft grumble brought me back from memories. I glanced at the source of the sound who suddenly became very interested in the hem of her shirt, playing with it and pulling at loose threads.

"Ara, how reckless of me to forget that my lovely companion does need nourishment not only for her soul, but for her body as well. Come on then, let us partake in the evening repast."

I bowed to Natsuki, extending my hand toward her; she chuckled lightly with poorly hidden amusement but eventually accepted my invitation.

* * *

><p>This evening I spread us a real feast; after all, it was Reki's Day of Flight. I even brought some wine from my cellar - the very same wine with which we celebrated her growing up to trust.<p>

Even presented with this vast array of wonderful dishes, the plethora of various delicacies, the one that Natsuki reached for most often was no other than her 'sticky sticks'. I did not approve of her choice as the sticky paste was nothing but pure fat yet her face was lit with such pure delight, her eyes gleaming with childlike joy, that I could not bring myself to say a word against it.

"And, you know, I totally refused to eat my veggies, and Auntie Mai couldn't make me even though she tried bribes and punishments. I was a pretty stubborn child back then, I guess." The afternoon in the kitchen set Natsuki into a quite talkative mood and I was not the one to complain for that. "So, one day, she sat me at the kitchen table in front of this huge bowl of cut vegetables and called them 'sticky sticks'. And when I looked at her with disdain - come on, what's sticky about fresh veggies, which I still wouldn't eat, by the way - Auntie just smiled and told me to watch while she whisked some kind of paste. Then she asked me to dip a piece of carrot in it. And..." Here Natsuki dipped her own carrot stick in a whitish condiment. "And it was like a revelation - I didn't even notice when all veggies were gone. And that's how 'mayo', that's what the sticky paste is called, was born."

Had Auntie Mai known that after a few years her 'sticky sticks' would consist more of 'mayo' and less of vegetables, she would probably reconsider her invention.

"Umm... do you like it?" asked Natsuki hesitantly, passing me the bowl.

As reluctant as I was to taste this concoction, I could not refuse her request. Not now, when we were finally talking freely and enjoying each other's company. Bracing myself, I scooped some mayo with a piece of renkon and brought it to my mouth.

"It has very... distinct... and interesting taste" I finally admitted, having swallowed and washed the bit down with some wine. "Although I think that I shall leave it for Natsuki, since she apparently enjoys it much more than me."

"Really?" The girl beamed with unrestrained joy and almost jumped in her seat to get the bowl back. This sudden chirpiness, coupled with a constant flush of her usually pale face, caught my attention. "Cool! Thanks, Sh-Shiz... Shizuru!"

Natsuki almost devoured the rest of mayo, nearly forgetting the vegetables it should be accompanying, while I watched her closely. There was no mistaking it - the change in her behaviour has been brought about by the wine we were drinking. Was she that unaccustomed to drinking or was the liquor too strong for her?

Either way, it seemed that the night ahead of us would be a long and eventful one.

* * *

><p>First rays of the rising sun caught me in Natsuki's room, laying beside her on a futon. I was observing her sleeping face, finally calm and peaceful after the night full of turmoil and emotions. The feverish colour was finally gone from the porcelain features, though the trails left behind by tears were still painfully visible.<p>

My lovely girl stirred in her slumber, light covers sliding down her slim body and revealing camisole-clad chest. I reached over to pull the blanket a little higher, when pale eyelids slowly moved up, fluttered a bit and finally settled somewhere halfway between open and closed, granting me a glimpse of a drowsy green. I froze in place, with my right hand hovering just above Natsuki's breasts.

"Sh-Shizuru...?" Slight quiver in the husky voice didn't escape my attention. "What are you... what's going on?"

She started to look around, noticing the state of her undress and the fact that we were sharing her bed. The situation was so similar to our first evening, except for one tiny detail.

"Shizuru?"

"Ara, how can Natsuki ask such questions, especially after last night?" I moved back and sat on my haunches to give her some space. "Was it not you, dear one, who wanted to be loved? Who had but one request: to feel special for at least one night?"

"I... I don't remember... not a single thing..." Her breath quickened and started to became erratic, her now wide open eyes full of pleas and denial. "You... you didn't... You didn't, right?!"

"I didn't..." smiling warmly at the relief washing over Natsuki's features, I continued, "do anything against Natsuki's will. I only followed your wishes, my lovely, and if you do not remember, we can easily relive those moments for new memories."

It took a moment for my words to sink in this raven head but when they did Natsuki sprang to her feet and started to back away, unshed tears gleaming in her eyes.

"How... How could you do that... to me...? Shizuru, how...?"

I reached out to stop her retreat but she jerked my hand away.

"No! Don't touch me!" She kept moving backwards to finally slide down the wall and curl up. "You defiled me! Shizuru, how could you? And I... I..." Her voice broke into sobs.

A tease gone too far. Natsuki's broken form pained me so much more as I was the one to bring this suffering upon her.

"Natsuki..." I tried to explain, to apologise, but Natsuki closed her eyes shut and covered her ears. Instead, I picked up the blanket and though the girl shied away from me, I put it over her shoulders. "I never did anything to which Natsuki have not consented." Getting no response to that, I sighed. "Try to remember, lovely one, I beg that of thee."

Resting a hand on a shaking head, I passed to Natsuki my own recollection of what transpired between us that night. Nothing to regret, nothing to be embarrassed about: my dear companion overused the wine and got a tad too open for both of our likings. After complaining of her own insignificance and getting a few innocent hugs, she broke a fever and passed out. If she would only listen to me...

Silently, I moved to another room and set the table, maybe for the last time, maybe even unnecessarily, but I needed something to busy my hands and thoughts with. When everything was ready, I sat down, sipping a tea and trying to reign in all unwanted thoughts.

Finally, after a time that seemed longer than it really was, I heard soft padding of her feet and felt her presence behind me. Not taking my eyes away from the teacup, I awaited her decision when something light was placed upon my head. I rose a hand to the object - a small flower wreath. In an instant, the last meeting with Reki and her gift back then came to me. Was that a goodbye then, Natsuki? Shall I open the gate for you and never see you again?

Natsuki moved away but only to sit by the table; not at her usual place, though, at the opposite side of it. No; rather, she sat at the closer edge, by my left hand. And when she passed me a bowl to serve her some rice, I noticed the sheepish smile gracing her features.

"Thank you, Shizuru."

Planning it or not, taking a tease too far or relenting to Natsuki's wishes - somehow, I was granted with the most beautiful gift of all - my companion's trust.

* * *

><p>The bomb was ticking. Three... two... one...<p>

"Shizuru!"

Indignant huff and my laughter. Those two became inseparable lately.

Always making sure that hidden in the emerald eyes was amusement, not fear or even anxiety, I teased Natsuki to my heart's content. The events on the Day of Flight made me realize that despite the stirring which Natsuki's beauty caused in me, I did not want to simply take her - I wanted to have her by my side for as long as possible.

And I knew that the time for taking would come.

Because those who are waiting long enough, are eventually given...

* * *

><p>No Author's Ramblings this time cause I'm extremely happy that so many of you like this story :) Being placed in one's favorites among my own fanfiction masters is just... wow! Like being put on the same shelf with Pratchett and Norton :D<p>

Thanks a lot for all your alerts and reviews and stuff... Do not hesitate to point out any shortcomings of this story, though (they're valuable for me, really) - like the fact, that Natsuki turned out too skittish in this chapter or that her character is all over the place... I just can't get a good grip on her motivations...

Anyway, I'm off to celebrations (we have double holiday today - The Assumption and The Polish Army Day) :)

Have a nice day!


	5. Chapter 4: Cranberry Miracle

I know, you've been waiting for this, so without further ado (I disclaimed in the first chapter, right?): the fourth chapter! 

* * *

><p>I knew that the time for taking would come.<p>

Because those who are waiting long enough, are eventually given...

* * *

><p><em>Dear Viola-kamisama, do you have to have such a long name? I almost twisted my tongue, just before. Oh, right, my mommy says you're the powerful goddess and you can do many things. Can you make cows make chocolate milk and without skin? Pretty pretty please?<em>

_Goddess Viola, I no like you no more. I prayed for a puppy, remember? Not for a little brother who only cries and poops and smells funny. Take him back and give me my dog and then I may like you again._

_Dear Viola-sama, please take care of my mommy and my daddy, and my sister, and my second sister and if you have time of my big brother. Oh, and take care of yourself too. We'd have no one to take care of us if something happened to you._

_Dear Viola-kamisama, remember how I asked you to fix my legs? You don't have to anymore. My Pa invented this awesome chair with wheels and now I can ride it on my own. Though if you could make muddy puddles a little less muddy I'd be grateful cause the wheels tend to stuck in them. Thanks a lot._

_Dear goddess, you are my favourite goddess and I think you're totally suited for this job. And I'm not saying it just because you might punish me if I don't, seriously. What do you do to become one? I could ditch school if I became a goddess, right? Or do you have to take some terribly boring classes? Tell me soon because Miss Maria told us we write this big big quiz next week._

I sighed lightly - children's prayers always filled me with such an amazing tenderness. I would never get enough of their simple faith in me which enabled them to ask for anything they could imagine with most sincere intentions. Adults' prayers, though, those were a completely different kind of thing: quite often greedy, selfish and full of demands. Grown-ups have the gall to ask for their neighbours' loss or for the plague to fall upon their enemies, and that is not mentioning their usual petitions for unsurpassed fame and wealth.

After that fateful day when I interrupted their attempted murder - or sacrifice - the people of Fuuka seemed to find their faith anew. Ever since then, they kept pestering me with their petty wants and whims, always applying a generous dose of flattery or excuses for "that most unfortunate incident caused by very human misunderstanding so I hope thou would forgive us and grant this tiny little favour I ask of thee; of course no hard feelings if thou can't but if thou can I'd be so very grateful..." They could go in this manner almost for hours, their praying scrolls becoming ridiculously long; and yet, it gained them nothing but...

"What are you reading?"

Bringing my eyes up, I noticed Natsuki standing by the parted shouji and biting into a ripe apple. Her white and shapely teeth broke the skin and dipped into the crisp flesh, tangy juice flowing freely down her chin and lower... my eyes following its slow descend down her neck... her collarbone... and lower, disappearing in the open shirt... but even then still travelling south...

"Oi! where're you looking?!"

My eyes still trained on the entrancing sight, I smiled before stating in a low voice:

"There's this ripe, delicious fruit I would like to be able to taste. Would Natsuki mind if I took just a little bite of it?"

Every word brought me a bit closer to the deeper and deeper blushing girl until I was able to snatch the apple in my mouth, savouring its juices. The sight of hyperventilating Natsuki was so precious that I decided to take mercy on her.

"You were asking?"

Opening and closing her mouth a few times like a fish taken out of water, Natsuki forced the apple into my hand and almost growled:

"Do. NOT. Do. That. Again."

I could only laugh merrily at her indignation. Taking another bite of the apple, I got back to my place behind the low desk. Having finally reigned her lovely colours in, Natsuki sat on the other side of it and repeated her question.

"Those are prayer scrolls. Whenever someone directs their prayer to me, it is recorded this way for me to read and respond. After all, being a goddess does not mean that I am able to bilocate."

"There's not many of them..." remarked Natsuki, inspecting the small pile of scrolls on my desk.

"Actually, if I were to compare their number today to the one from a few months back, I would call this real abundance."

"Really? So, what happened that it's changed?"

I said nothing but Natsuki was not so dumb as not to put two and two together.

"Oh, right. Guess there's nothing like a good, old revelation to inspire faith in you."

"I would not call it 'faith', Natsuki" I stated sternly, putting aside another of Fuukans' prayers, one more that would go unanswered. "They are simply afraid of my punishing powers and even despite that, they try to reap some benefits. Those greedy, selfish, uncaring fools, overeager to sacrifice anything as long it does not touch them directly and they can gain~"

"Hey, Shizuru," calm, raspy voice broke through the angry mist shrouding my thoughts. I looked up to see a reassuring smile. "It's okay now. I am here, alive. Thanks to you."

I had no answer to the rather unexpected confession; Natsuki, too, soon realized what she has just said and this realization made her fidgety. To cover her embarrassment, she took one of the scrolls and held it up.

"Do you mind?"

No, I did not mind so the girl unrolled the scroll, taking a peek into its contents. She ran her eyes through it once, and then twice, concern creeping onto her previously composed features. She slowly put the paper down, hiding it under the pile before raising her eyes to me and asking uncertainly:

"Say... If I wanted to ask you for something... should I pray to you? Or just write something down on one of those?"

"Silly," I chuckled. "You do not have to do any of those. Don't you think that asking me face to face would be the easiest option for you?"

"Oh, right..."

The usually vivid emeralds of Natsuki's eyes seemed dull and distant, her gaze wandering somewhere I could not reach.

"Unless it's something that Natsuki would rather not voice out loud. Something embarrassing maybe, like asking me to hold her at night..."

"No, it's not that..."

Something was definitely not right if she had not reacted to this tease of mine. Yet, before I could investigate the matter at hand, Natsuki stood up and soundlessly slipped out of my room.

* * *

><p>"What is bothering you, my lovely one?"<p>

"Hmm...?"

"I see that something is on your mind, Natsuki. Would it help to share it with me? Maybe I could aid you in any way?"

I could no longer bear the sadness in the girl's eyes and the distraught on her face. There was no mistaking it: something was troubling her ever since we have talked about prayer scrolls and it was troubling her to the point of shutting in.

"I... No, it's just..." Natsuki kept poking her fish and even a small bowl of mayo set by her plate did nothing for her apetite. She barely touched the food, constantly playing with it and bringing chopsticks to her mouth only to put them back down. "No, thanks. I'm fine"

Sweeping her raven hair back, Natsuki tried to send me a small smile, but because of its forcedness it could not calm my worry.

"Are you sure? Maybe~"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm perfectly fine!" The girl stood up abruptly, her action in stark contrast to her words. "Are you going to eat that?" Not waiting for my answer, she started collecting plates and bowls, stacking them up dangerously high. "No? Good. Then I'm going to do the dishes."

And with that she stomped to the kitchen, clattering of tableware and cutlery accompanying her steps.

Soon after, a noise of shattering plates reached my ears and I rushed to the kitchen, only to find Natsuki crumpled on the floor, trying to pick up the broken pieces, silent tears streaming down her face.

I wanted to comfort her so badly, to gather her in my arms and reassure that whatever is troubling her, we will find a solution. Yet, I knew better than to do what my heart prompted me to. Then and there Natsuki needed space and time to come to terms with her ghosts. I intended to give her both.

"Natsuki..."

* * *

><p>The very next morning I awakened to the fragrance of freshly brewed tea, jasmine green if I recognized the subtle undertones correctly. Following the aromatic trail, I reached living room where the table was set with simple, yet tasty-looking meal: a pile of white bread sandwiches, accompanied by two small bowls of steaming soup and a fresh salad.<p>

Natsuki sat at her usual place; upon hearing my entrance, she put the bread down.

"I'm sorry, " reverberated her rough whisper. "For yesterday. It's just..."

She sighed with resignation, unable to find the right words. Instead, she motioned to the scroll laying by my place. I instantly recognised it as a prayer scroll and was about to say something about Natsuki touching my things when she preempted that:

"I know. You can lecture me later; hell, you can even punish me for that but for now... just read it. Please?"

Furrowing my brows at this unexpected brazenness, I unfurled the scroll.

_Dear Viola-kamisama. My sisters and I, we wanted to ask you to heal our Aunt. She's been good all her life and she's good to us, and she took care of us when our parents died and no one cared. But now she's really really ill and everybody says she will die soon. We tried many herbs but none of them worked so if you could make a miracle and... and... and heal... let her live please! We don't want her to die. She's our only family..._

And a few lines lower, with the tiniest of letters, as if only an afterthought:

_And if you know what happened with Natsuki... Take care of her, wherever she is..._

I brought my eyes up from the prayer only for them to meet with Natsuki's big emeralds, shimmering with unshed tears.

"Don't let her die, Shizuru!"

Any other time, this hopeful face would move me to tears and bend me to any wish of Natsuki. This time though, I could not relent; not when the matter concerned one of those...

"Your Aunt, she is of Fuukans, is she not? So why, pray tell, should I do anything for her? Why should I care for her well-being when she so obviously had not cared for yours?"

"What are you...?"

"Had she not been with those who wanted to kill you? Verily, you cannot possibly call it 'caring'."

"She hadn't been there! She lives with Tardy Trio a bit from the village... she probably didn't know what was happening..."

"Does Natsuki truly want me to believe that she did not heard the ruckus that accompanied this misguided procession? That never once has she thought about Natsuki's disappearance?"

Natsuki swallowed audibly, taking defensive stance and mumbling:

"It's not like that."

"Not like that?" I was far too enraged to even notice Natsuki's discomfort. "So how is it? Tell me, Natsuki, how can one supposedly 'care' for somebody and never question their fate after a fatal event like this!?"

She turned her eyes away, her face painted with most interesting shades of red. I waited till Natsuki opened her mouth, only to interrupt her.

"No, don't answer that. I do not want to know what enables humans to such cruelty. Rather, tell me if you are aware of the fact that divine interventions like the one you ask for must be paid for with proper offerings?" Natsuki looked at me, curiously. "And that real miracles call for particularly ample sacrifices?"

"Shizuru..."

She knew where I was heading. She must have know what I was going to ask of her. Yet, there she stood, unmoving, awaiting my words.

"Natsuki has said that her Aunt cares for her, but can the same be said of Natsuki?"

"Of course!" Never before have I seen Natsuki so outraged, so passionate about something. "I do care for her. She's my only family, after all..."

"But how much, Natsuki?" I interrupted, not really caring that it was a behaviour far from what is expected of a goddess. "How much do you care for her? How much would you pay for the miracle to happen?"

"Anything!" Not missing a beat, not hesitating a blink of an eye even. "I'll give you anything you want!"

"Anything?" I chuckled over her zealotry. "Natsuki does surely know that there is only one thing I want of her."

Natsuki blushed furiously but did not budge, waiting eagerly for my next words.

I stepped closer; putting a hand under her chin, I brought her face up and close to my own.

"Does Natsuki care for her Aunt enough to offer herself as a sacrifice? To allow me to freely explore the deepest secrets of her body, partaking in the sweetness no one has ever tasted?"

My breath touching her lips in a mock kiss, my voice stern and serious.

"Tell me, Natsuki, do you care that much?"

My raven-haired beauty swallowed whatever words were on her mind and after a short fight with her thoughts, she broke free. The impact of her escape was sorely diminished by a failed attempt to slam shouji screen.

I followed her with my eyes, slowly sitting down and taking a cup of cold tea in my hands. Maybe it was better this way, maybe it was better that she ran away. Had she accepted my offer, what would I do? I threw it at her, without thinking about the consequences. If that woman was so sick that no herbs could help her, is she was on the verge of death - any intervention on my part would be a severe transgression against higher Laws.

Saving Natsuki from Fuukan mob was the very first disobedience in the ages of my goddessship. Because of that and because Natsuki had been moments earlier offered to me, which - in a way - made her my property, I was spared more severe punishments. Still, The One lectured me in lengths on overstepping boundaries of my privileges and inflicting undue punishments. I lowered my head and humbly listened, inwardly rejoicing and not even for a moment regretting what I had done.

Yet, what was forgiven once, would not be forgiven as easily another time. Not when I was so explicitly warned against abusing my powers and abilities.

I was still pondering all the 'what ifs', 'maybes' and 'nevers' when the sliding door moved ever so slowly and I heard soft padding. Step by step, Natsuki came closer, finally standing in front of me and mumbling something so quietly that I had to ask her to repeat.

"Do it, Shizuru" came the lowest of whispers. "Save my Aunt, and later... later you can have... my body..."

So did she say; then why did I feel this obnoxious stirring in my heart, this sadness over her choice of words? She was willing to give me what I desired, what I wanted - why this dissatisfaction? Could it be that I wanted something else?

"Natsuki" I coaxed her to look up. "Are you sure you want this?"

Two glassy emeralds wandered elsewhere.

"I... I don't want her to die!"

Natsuki's chest heaved irregularly and from her erratic breaths I knew she was fighting tears back. I stepped closer and gathered her in my arms. In response, she tensed and grabbed fistfuls of my robe, clutching to it, caught in-between the instinct to run and the feelings for her Aunt.

"You have made the right choice, lovely one" I whispered against her hair.

But did she, really?

Not allowing myself to venture down this alley once more, I took trembling Natsuki to the human realm. While I could easily investigate her Aunt's situation from heavens, I wanted to give the girl a chance to at least say goodbye, should the miracle prove impossible for me to perform.

Having appeared, just to stay on the safe side, a few minutes walk from human settlements, I waited for Natsuki to compose herself and allowed her to lead the way.

Following in the footsteps of my beautiful guide, I marvelled at how she belonged to the place. It was almost as if she had been born in this forest: her steps light and springy, not even once breaking any twig on the ground, moving almost soundlessly through the fallen leaves.

Suddenly, it occurred to me how little I knew about Natsuki. My entire knowledge on this individual could be summed up in a few statements: she was young and beautiful; she use to live with her aunt which meant she probably was an orphan; she liked mayo too much to my liking; she followed customs and traditions of the past and... was that really it? Was there nothing more I could say about the girl I deemed my companion?

"Natsuki, what is your favourite colour?" I asked quietly.

"Ha?" Up until now watching closely the ground, Natsuki suddenly stopped in her tracks, startled by this out-of-the-blue question. "What are you...?" She grimaced with incredulity. "You want to know that now, really?"

I looked down, not sure how to respond to her question, not sure even why I asked in the first place. Natsuki shook her head and resumed her walk, once again paying close attention to the grounds she was passing. I was just about to ask about this curious search, when Natsuki stopped again, claiming joyfully:

"Found it!" She bowed down for a moment and then turned to me, a few red berries on her outstretched hand. "I knew it was about time for them to ripen."

"What is it?" I asked picking a fruit and tasting it.

Natsuki grinned at my grimace when the sour taste with a bitter undertone hit my tongue.

"Cranberries. They not so good fresh but dried turn really sweet. It just takes lots of time and warmth..." Her thoughts wandered elsewhere as she probably reminisced something from her past.

Having gathered some more berries, Natsuki resumed our trek.

"Aunt Mai will love them, cranberry muffins with quark are her favourites." After a little while, she added: "It's blue, by the way."

* * *

><p>The household where Aunt Mai lived consisted of two small, thatched huts. In front of them, three girls were sitting, their fingers diligently moving about separating something small into two baskets. When we appeared in sight, girl with long brownish braids stopped whatever she was doing, her mouth agape.<p>

"Your fingers are not moving, Anty" warned the eldest of the girls. "You know that Auntie needs her meds, right? So keep working."

"B-but, Nina-chan... Natsuki..."

"If Natsuki were here, we'd have this done ages ago. Get back to the peas."

"Nina-chan, look!" insisted the younger girl and finally the other two looked at where her finger was pointed at.

In a matter of mere seconds all three enveloped Natsuki in a hug, completely forgotten peas spilling from fallen baskets to the ground.

"Yo, kids. Missed me?" asked my girl with a cocky smile, returning the hug and patting heads of the smaller girls.

She was responded with a collective noise of squeals, questions and shouts; I had to smile at how loved she was by these three.

Unable to free herself from the group hug, Natsuki pulled one hand up and gestured to the girls.

"Shizuru, meet my... family, I guess." Smiling sheepishly, she rubbed the back of her head. "They're called Tardy Trio for a reason but you just can't hate them. Now, kids, what do we do when guests come?"

The girls immediately untangled themselves and standing in line, bowed unsynchronisedly, providing me with their names: Nina appeared to be the oldest of them, Arika was the one with ant-like braids and the last, cat-like one, was Mikoto.

"Very good, girls. Now, this is Shizuru. She's a..." I shook my head almost unnoticeably but thankfully, Natsuki caught it and changed her words. "She's my friend and I kinda crashed at her place lately."

Tardy Trio immediately looked at me with such an awe in their big, trustful eyes that I had to chuckle. In a matter of seconds they circled me in a group hug, chattering simultaneously:

"Does Natsuki eat her veggies? You know that she likes to hide them under rice? You smell nice, can I smell that too? Natsuki always sleeps in and never makes her bed so Auntie Mai shouts at her and beats her with Da Spoon! You have nice boobies, can I love them?"

The last one came from Mikoto who, before I could even process her question, much less answer it, started to nuzzle into my chest. I laughed openly at this display of affection; Natsuki was right, I could never hate those kids even if they were a bit unusual in their behaviour.

When I looked up, Natsuki stood by the second hut, sending us an affectionate smile; soon after, she disappeared inside the building where I assumed her Aunt was staying. Giving her some time alone, I asked the girls to teach me whatever they were doing before we arrived. I must have proved a good student because by the time Natsuki opened the door and motioned for me to join her, more than a basket and a half was filled with shelled peas.

* * *

><p>"You can do it, right, Shizuru? You can heal her."<p>

"No, I can't. It would be possible for me but I am not allowed to intervene now when she is on the brink of death. Healing her, causing such a miracle to happen would be a severe transgression against the Laws. I would be punished and I don't even want to imagine the extent of this punishment. The One could go as far as erasing me from existence. You have said you would pay the price for this miracle but have you thought about the price I would have to pay for it as well? Forgive me, Natsuki, but I am not willing to sacrifice this much. Even for you."

I wish she would not ask me with so much hope, with such a certainty and faith in me. Because then I could actually respond to her like that, in all honesty; fearing the outcome of this intervention and hoping that she would understand. But then and there I could not refuse the trust in her eyes, their hopeful depths entrancing me completely and bending me to her will.

"Yes, I can do it. But methinks that a little advance payment on what we settled upon would be in place, don't you agree with me, Natsuki?"

The raven-hair maiden looked at me a tad hesitantly but eventually yielded to my unvoiced request. Thus, I took her pale face in my hands and claimed her lips, tasting their nectar to my heart's content, getting drunk on its sweetness and on the promises of even more dulcet delights.

Yet, even through the haze induced by this intoxicating experience I felt that something was awry with the kiss. Natsuki was tensed and unresponsive; I redoubled my efforts in melting her, while drowning myself in her closeness, letting myself fall deep and hard. Feeling tempted to explore the secrets locked behind these soft lips, I tried to pry them open with my tongue. Suddenly, Natsuki became rigid in my arms and started shaking slightly.

Reluctantly, I pulled back, sighing with content.

"You're right, lovely one" I whispered, caressing Natsuki's heated cheek. "'This should only be an advance and not a complete payment."

A small, uncertain smile appeared on her lips. My heart leapt at the sight though I would not have been able to explain why; what was in this very smile that caused my heart skip a beat or two.

"Now, I want you to get the girls' attention. Whatever might happen, whatever you might see or hear, none of you is allowed to enter the hut until I say so."

Natsuki nodded with the most serious expression on her face. Saying something about gathering cranberries, she urged the girl to enter the forest.

I got the first taste of heavens; now came the time to earn the right to enjoy it fully even if I would never be able to execute this right. Even if performing the miracle would be the last thing I did in my existence...

* * *

><p>I took Aunt Mai and lead her out of the hut; as her strength has yet not fully returned, she clutched to my arm, her steps slow and shaky. We sat on the bench, waiting for the girls to come back.<p>

When they did, there was no end to joyful shouts, to hugs and kisses. Natsuki stood a little aside and observed this scene in silence, an affectionate smile on her lips. I joined her, taking a basket half-filled with cranberries from her hands and prompting her to join the celebrations.

The sight of this scene, this unusual family acknowledging and accepting each other, filled me with great warmth; the chance to witness Natsuki acting in such an open manner, without any self-inflicted inhibitions was like a real treasure. Later, I would tell her that I was unable to cure her Aunt completely; that all I achieved was obliterating the symptoms of her illness and delaying her death for three years. Even then though, she would die quietly, in her sleep, without suffering.

I trembled at the memory of her scream when the miasmatic fever was leaving her body. It was almost unhuman, shaking even me, who witnessed sufferings of many ages. I could only hope that the girls were far enough not to hear it.

"Natsuki" I coaxed, having waited for a reasonable time and stepping closer to them. "I think it is time for us to head back. We have a long way to go, after all."

She looked at me, her face falling for but a moment, yet in this moment my heart stood still. Was what she promised me with so awful, so revolting in her mind? And why did it matter so much to me? Given a chance, I could make her enjoy it to the point of her asking for more - this one thing I was certain. Then why this short-lived scowl pained me so?

"You're right, Shizuru. Just give me one more minute and I'm all yours" said Natsuki, stressing the final phrase.

She took her Aunt and helped her back to the hut, probably wanting to bid her farewell in private. Meanwhile, Tardy Trio surrounded me, asking:

"How'd you heal Auntie Mai? Are you a fairy or something like a prophet?"

I could only smile to this and whisper in utmost confidentiality:

"Well, kind of. But do not tell that anyone. It must remain a secret or I will lose my power."

"Ooooh. Will not tell. But we need to thank you. Aunt always says to thank when someone helps us. Come, we will give you something good."

* * *

><p>Soon after that, Natsuki and I have left the little household, deciding to walk away a bit before returning to my domain.<p>

We have been walking through a forest for a few minutes when I felt cold, slightly clammy fingers trying to interweave with my own. I squeezed them gently in order to comfort and reassure Natsuki, deep inside enjoying her closeness.

After a moment, the girl halted in her steps, effectively stopping me as well. I turned around to ask what was the problem, never - not even for a moment - letting go of her hand.

"Th-thank you, Shizuru. For healing my Aunt, that is." Natsuki swallowed audibly and looked me in the eye. "And I'm ready to keep m-my part of the d-deal."

Even though she pretended to be calm and composed, her shaky voice betrayed her inner turmoil.

"Ara, the deal?" I put a finger to my chin in a thoughtful manner, cocking my head in the process. "Whatever might Natsuki have in mind?"

"You... you said that miracles must be paid for with sacrifices and I... agreed to your price."

A lovely blush spread on Natsuki's cheeks as she tried to keep her emotions under control and not to fall to my teasings.

"Right, I can't deny having said that but I believe this particular miracle has been already taken care of. I remember Natsuki's sisters rewarding me quite handsomely when she went to say her goodbyes..."

I could barely keep the amusement in when the girl blushed even more furiously.

"What did you do to them? You didn't touch them, did you?"

I pretended to be outraged by this assumption.

"Does Natsuki truly think me such a perverted monster that would abuse trust and gratitude of innocent maidens? Ara, what have I done to deserve myself this opinion?"

From the first sparkles of mirth in her lovely emeralds I knew that Natsuki saw through my tease.

"Well, not necessarily a monster but I daresay the rest is quite spot-on."

I held her sight for a moment before we both broke into a laughter which eased the tension.

When our joyful noise finally died, I looked around for a stump or a log and upon finding one, I asked Natsuki to sit down. Soon, I followed the suit, sitting in seiza across from her.

"Natsuki, I am really glad that you want to follow through with your promise and right now~"

"Right now?" Natsuki interrupted, looking wildly around us. "You want to do it here and now?"

"Hush, lovely one" I cooed soothingly, trying to catch the girl's eyes. "Will you let me finish?"

"Oh-okay."

"Right now, I would like to confirm a theory of mine." I smiled softly to reassure Natsuki of my good intentions. "If I would be allowed then..." I whispered, leaning towards my girl and capturing her lips. For a moment I felt their trembling, their exquisite softness and the underlying tension. The raven-haired maiden accepted my kiss but did not return it. The fact that I yearned for her reciprocity proved to me that I was right about the decision I made. The decision I was about to share with Natsuki.

"Listed to me closely now: I hereby release you from your pledge." Seeing the confusion on her features, I added: "You owe me nothing, Natsuki."

"B-but... you said... and I..." Natsuki struggled with words, desperately trying to get a grasp on the situation.

"I am aware of what I asked of Natsuki. And my decision is not dependant on whatever she has done or what her sweet sisters has gifted me with in their gratitude. Rather, today I have realized that what Natsuki wanted to offer would not be enough."

"You know you're not making any sense right now?" chuckled nervously my lovely girl. "You say it's not enough and so you don't want it?"

"It does make a perfect sense to me" I insisted, grabbing Natsuki's fingers and squeezing them. "Natsuki offered for me to take her body but I want much more." Looking intently into those vast emeralds that I came to adore so deeply, I carried on. "I want all of you, dear one; I want whole Natsuki and that would mean not only your body, but also your mind, your soul and your spirit. And above all - if you would ever be willing to give it to me - your heart." Placing one hand upon Natsuki's chest, close to her heart, I added: "Until I cannot have it all, I shall refrain from taking what little Natsuki can spare."

Cold fingers were placed upon my own and Natsuki's eyes swarmed with emotions I could not tell apart. Looking past me, somewhere far away where only her sight could reach, the girl asked quietly:

"And if I will never be willing to give you that?"

I smiled to myself and answered in a similar manner.

"Then I shall take comfort in the thought that I did not coerce Natsuki into giving me something she would rather keep to herself."

I was telling the truth: suddenly, a mere thought of forcing Natsuki - even indirectly - into anything equalled to defiling her, to robbing the maiden of what was the most beautiful in her. I would much rather have willful Natsuki near me than have her against her will.

I was caught almost completely unaware by Natsuki's reaction. Her whole figure slumped and started trembling; lithe fingers swept through her face, gathering something. The girl looked up then and I noticed that tears flowed freely down her face, her lips twitching constantly.

"Ne, Shizuru... Why am I... Why am I crying?"

The happenings of the day finally got to Natsuki: how close her Aunt was to death, the miracle that occurred, what she was about to give away, what the future had in store for her. Seeing my girl so broken under overwhelming emotions was painful to me so I opened my arms, prompting her to fall into me and when she complied, I scooped her like a child on my lap. Rocking back and forth, I kept whispering soothing words and moving my hand up and down Natsuki's back.

Whilst she was slowly calming down, I transferred us to heavens.

"Natsuki," I whispered when her breath evened. "One more thing."

Taking her face in my hands, I placed a kiss on her feverish forehead.

"'Tis my blessing: now you will be able to step into human realm whenever you wish, for a few hours at a time."

Two green lakes blinked once, then twice and thrice even; then, I felt arms snaking their way round my waist and Natsuki nuzzling into me. I hugged her back, revealing in this intimacy bestowed upon me freely and with sincerity.

* * *

><p>The next few days are in my mind but a blur of suffering, both physical and mental. The One, though spared my existence, made me experience the punishment that would ensure I would never overuse my powers again. In the moments of consciousness, however short and scarce they might be, I expected Natsuki to make a use of my gift, to leave this unpleasant sight I presented. But I was wrong: never once did she leave my side, bringing me blankets when violent shivers shook me for hours; brewing me tea, taking away the cold, untouched one and unweariedly bringing cups of a fresh one; wiping my sweaty body with damp cloth and whispering soothing words when the torments in my mind left me a-trembling, sobbing and screaming alternately, a broken heap on a floor.<p>

And when I came to my senses, the first thing I saw was Natsuki sleeping next to me, her peaceful face bearing traces of weariness. I smiled fondly at her, gentle affection rising in my chest at this sight, and covered her with a blanket.

When a few hours later she joined me at the table, I intended to thank her for the continuous vigil but she stopped me.

"Not a word. You'd do the same for me. And I still owed you for my Aunt's life."

It was only that, right? Only responsibility and nothing more... I smiled to Natsuki, though deep inside I felt great sadness.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Viola-kamisama. Thank you for your grace and granting me this few years to prepare my girls for my death. Thank you for taking care of Na-chan. She may not be the easiest in cohabitation but deep inside she's a good, kind girl. If you only find a way into her heart, she'll pay you back hundredfold. And you're already on a good way to achieving that, you know?<em>

I could almost see this all-knowing smirk, accompanying Mai's prayer.

* * *

><p>Those who are waiting long enough, are eventually given.<p>

I knew that the time for taking would come but not just yet. 

* * *

><p>Whoa, one hell of a monster chapter for me. I mean, 6k words? For real?<p>

Pity to my great Beta who proofread it :D

So, it's Author's Rambling time again, since two months have passed and no one missed me.

(Before I forget: positive shoutout to Ian.23 whom I owe my first non-English review ;))

Are any of you, fellow perverted Shiznaters disappointed with how this chapter concluded? I am 'cause Shizuru thought about some things way too early and now I have to re-work two chapters and give up on another one. But what can poor author do when her characters start to live on their own? :D

Since it'll be somewhere near Christmas when the next chapter will be coming up, I'm offering you a gift: I'm working on a fillerish chapter, consisting of snippets from goddess and virgin's daily life (doing things, talking about things etc). If you have anything you want to see in this chapter (maybe you have some questions about N and S or you want to know how'd they react in certain situations), write it in a review or shoot me a PM. I'll try to cater to your wishes :)

That be about all for today, I guess. Enough of rambling, time to warm up before griddlers tournament.

Have a nice Autumn, folks!


	6. Chapter 5: Negi Porridge

**Story moved to the M-rated section. Just to be on the safe side after last year purge :)**

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><p><strong>Hi and hello, girls and boys :)<strong>

**I am most deeply sorry for this terrible delay (it's been almost four months since the last update O.o) but as those of you who follow 30sh know - I'm experiencing some health problems at the moment and they hinder my writing (you know, when it takes ten minutes to remember something as basic as "move backwards", then you can hardly call it comfortable ;))**

**But - worry not! Both stories will be finished - it may just take more time.**

**On a more positive note - thank you for all reviews. You're wonderful! :)**

** Sometimes I wish the guests'd leave me some contact info so I could address your doubts without spoiling fun for other readers.**

**Ok, I've been ranting for too long. It's time for some Valentine ShizNat goodness!**

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><p>"Could you move a little bit, Natsuki?"<p>

"Mmm..." A quiet rustle of clothes and squeaks of the old armchair. "Like this?"

"A little bit more to the left... Just like that. It's perfect," I purred. "Natsuki is the most comfortable

pillow I could have ever imagined."

She huffed and grumbled:

"I'm not comfortable at all!"

I laughed merrily and moved a bit, allowing her to move her toes, but not removing my head from her lap.

In the wake of a winter, I rearranged my household a bit, adding to it a living-room in western style. It was indisputably one of the perks of having powers like mine at one's disposal: being able to completely remodel the insides of the house without disturbing its outside look.

And so we sat by the fireplace: Natsuki in the plush armchair, I - at her feet, propping myself at her slender legs.

"It's my turn to pick, right?" asked Natsuki, referring to the activity that became our little custom this last few evenings. "Then tell me about the Ungrateful Anh. I've always had problems believing this story."

"Probably for the right reasons..." I sighed, recalling the events connected with the name. "Why don't you start by telling me what you were taught?" I was quite curious as to why my dear Anh was called ungrateful.

"Well, there was this little girl whose parents died and she had no relatives so the goddess Viola - meaning you - took care of her. Why are they always girls, by the way?" Natsuki loomed over me, in an attempt to look at my face.

I bent back, our eyes meeting for a fleeting moment before Natsuki realised intimacy of our position and looked away.

"Ara, it certainly does seem this way. But I can assure Natsuki that I also took boys under my wings." I stopped for a bit, thinking of those few instances that could be considered exceptions from the general rule. "Although they were less of companions and more of... servants? After all, fair maidens are much more likeable than rowdy lads."

Natsuki blushed heavily, though less than she would at the beginning of our acquaintance; she was growing accustomed to my constant teasing.

"Please, continue. Up to this point the story is surprisingly truthful."

Still irritated by my earlier remarks, Natsuki huffed and scowled. It was only after I resolved to pouting and begging her with wide open, teary eyes that she relented and picked her story up.

"The girl named Anh lived happily in heavens until one day she saw in the human realm something that made her want visit the place. She begged the goddess to be allowed but the Mighty One said: No, you must not go for great perils await you in there."

I took immense pleasure in listening to Natsuki's storytelling. Her speech, usually clipped and concise, underwent a complete transformation every time she took to relaying me some holy myth. I had to forcibly stop myself from drowning in her voice, for the one time I allowed myself this pleasure and lost track of her story, she took offense, accusing me of not listening. Oh, Natsuki, but I had been listening. I had been listening too much...

"And till the end of her days Anh kept saying that she'd barely escaped," finished her story Natsuki.

"I must confess that Natsuki has every reason to doubt this very story." I sighed, fixing my eyes on the steadily burning fire. The admission of what had really happened would not come easy to me. "I am ashamed to say that in a way I did imprison dear Anh."

Natsuki must have sensed my discomfort for her hands found their way to my shoulders, moving along them, gently kneading knotted muscles. I allowed myself to melt at her touch, somewhere deep inside wishing to feel these slim fingers elsewhere, to let them ease another tension, quench another desire.

I kept my silence, gathering thoughts and letting Natsuki take away my worries. She would surely understand that what had happened in the past is a time long gone by and would not repeat itself now that I was wiser with this painful experience, right? She would understand...

"Anh was to me like... a daughter, a dear girl I raised all by myself. She was able to visit human realm at her will and I never forbade her these trips, deeply enjoying her reports of what she had seen and who she had met." I stopped for a moment, reminiscing her brilliant smile, her features practically glowing when she was so absorbed in her story that the dinner we shared went cold, completely forgotten.

"One day she came back late and kept uncharacteristically silent. She excused herself from the meal and missed breakfast the next morning. The situation kept repeating until Anh asked me for permission to move to human realm. She was at her early twenties at that time, perfectly able to start living on her own. But my love for her was so possessive that I refused. No one would take my girl from me. No one..."

I trailed once more, hoping that Natsuki would not take me for a monster I was back then. Soon enough, I felt her slim fingers weaving in my hair, playing with them in a soothing manner.

"Anh kept sneaking from heaven so I stripped her of the ability to move between the two realms. She begged me to let her go, to let her see someone or something - I didn't really listen to her - for the last time. I never budged to her pleas so in a desperate attempt to change my mind she refused to take any meals. I could nourish her body with my powers and did just that. But the well-being of her soul was out of my reach. Anh kept withering in my eyes. I could not bear to see her like that."

"So you let her go," whispered Natsuki, putting the last pieces of Anh's story in place. "And after all this time, this someone or something she longed for was no longer there."

"She never forgave me, not even in her last moments." I spoke so silently that it was a wonder Natsuki heard me with the fire crackling. "And then her story was so twisted, making my sweet Anh the villain when it was all my fault..."

The silence that followed was heavy and uncomfortable, full of unspoken words and unasked questions. I missed Natsuki's calming hands, even if only on my shoulders, even if only in my hair...

"But you was willing to let me go," came the soft whisper from above. "The story would not repeat itself."

I hummed softly, acknowledging her words and taking some comfort in them.

We sat like that for a bit longer, none of us feeling the need to break the silence, until I felt shivers running up and down my spine. I asked Natsuki to pass me the blanket.

"Are you cold?" asked the girl, covering my shoulders.

I felt her cold hand upon my forehead but shook it off. I had no fever, although something felt wrong.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I barely touched breakfast while Natsuki was devouring it so eagerly I was afraid she would choke.<p>

"Natsuki," I called for her attention. "Your rice is not going to vanish if you won't eat it in the next three minutes."

"Showwy," mumbled my girl, stuffing even more food into her mouth. "I'm seeing Auntie Mai today and can't be late. She'll teach me..."

Natsuki gasped and fervently reached for her cup, drinking from it so greedily that some water dripped down her chin. I could only sigh and pass her a napkin.

"Thanks." She smiled to me and stood up. "I'll be back for dinner."

"One question before you go." Natsuki doubled back from the door. "What are you going to learn from Mai?"

The girl started to move backwards, a smug smile gracing her lips.

"Ah-a-a, I'm not telling you. It's a surprise. And don't even try your fake pout, it's not going to work today."

Despite her words, I still had to try. Pulling my lips into the most miserable pout and even going as far as squeezing some tears from my eyes, I repeated the question.

"Sorry, not today." Natsuki smiled at me. "Bye, Shizuru. See you later". And with that, she was gone.

* * *

><p>After doing the dishes, I moved to my reading room. I planned on going through the prayer scrolls but couldn't focus on the work. I was halfway through the third scroll when the words started flowing before my eyes. I rubbed them and pinched my nose, and massaged my temples - all of this to no avail.<p>

The front door screeched and I heard Natsuki's footsteps. Why was she back so soon? Wasn't she supposed to stay with her family till early afternoon?

"Shizuru, I'm back! And I've got something for you!"

I looked out the window - the sun has already started going down. How could I miss so much time passing?

"You won't believe what my Auntie did." Natsuki's voice was coming closer and closer, and so were her footsteps. "She improved on my favourite... Shizuru!"

Trying to go and welcome my companion, I missed my footing and gravity took its toll, pulling me to the floor. I felt so heavy and dizzy... In a blink of an eye, Natsuki crouched by me and I smiled weakly before falling out of consciousness.

* * *

><p>When I awakened, the room was dim. How long have I been unconscious? Just when I was about to get up and look out the window, shouji moved and Natsuki entered. The girl dropped whatever was in her hand and threw herself to me.<p>

"Don't get up!" I was pushed back onto the futon. "You passed out earlier, remember?"

I nodded and let her tuck me in. It was only then when I really noticed weakness in my muscles, and when Natsuki placed her cold hand on my forehead shivers run down my back.

"Shizuru, you're burning!" She scrambled to get the thing she dropped earlier. "Good thing I remembered about negi."

Negi? Maybe it was because of the raging fever, but I could not understand the connection between the green vegetable and my sickness.

"I know it's not pleasant... it may hurt a bit... but it'll help you, I swear." Natsuki shuffled closer to my futon. Her cheeks were adorned by the most lovely shade of red. "Could you..." She motioned with the negi. "...turn over? And lie on your stomach?"

Dizzy and confused, I complied with Natsuki's request and changed my position, all the while trying to understand her intentions. Cold, clammy fingers grazed my calves before shakily pulling up the hem of my nightgown.

"Natsuki? What are you doing?" I was desperately trying to get a grip on the situation, on the connection between the negi and fever, and the slim fingers brushing over my bare backside were not helpful. Any other day, I would gladly welcome them in there and allowed for more than the almost playful touches. But back then, with my body seriously weakened and my mind in a hazed state, I could barely keep the anxious trembling from my voice.

"Aunt Mai said it's the old folk cure that brings fever down." Her voice was probably even more shaky than mine. "Are you ready? It'll surely help..."

"No, Natsuki, put this negi down." When a discomfiting pressure appeared between my buttocks, I finally realized what she was referring to. "It will do me no good." With greater hesitation than before, but Natsuki kept pushing. "Please..."

In an instant the pressure was gone and Natsuki rolled me over. I took in her blushing face, her delicate nostrils flaring with indignation.

"I'm only trying to help!" She pushed the negi in my hand. "Do it yourself if you're that embarrassed." Suddenly she went quiet, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Or is it because you're a goddess and this is a human cure?"

I pulled myself up to half-sitting position and chuckled quietly.

"Was Natsuki cured of fever with this wicked vegetable when she was a child?" Emerald orbs turned away from me. "And was it helpful?" Natsuki huffed, but not without a nod. "Then it was because Natsuki was struggling when her Aunt tried to administer the cure. It was designed so the sick would sweat the sickness out."

"I didn't struggle," muttered Natsuki. "Auntie said I'm a big girl and should just suck it up."

"Awww..." I poked the girl with negi and motioned for her to come closer. When she sat by my side, I run a hand along her arm. "If Natsuki wants to avenge her lovely bottom, I would gladly offer mine." I passed the green stalk to her and observed how she twirled it in her fingers.

Sudden gleam in her eyes, coupled with a smirk, caused a shiver to run down my spine.

"Should I..." I gulped, a tad uncertain of Natsuki's intentions. "Should I turn over for you?"

Natsuki only laughed over my indignation and shrugged.

"Nah, no need to." She glared at the negi and sighed. "I guess I'll cook you some negi porridge. This would help even a goddess, right?"

I smiled reassuringly.

* * *

><p>Natsuki woke me up, shaking me delicately and calling my name.<p>

Faint smell of rice porridge with negi wafted towards me, making me almost drool.

With Natsuki's help, I sat up and slowly ate half of the portion. Somehow, my kind girl managed to simultaneously burn the porridge and make it too watery. But it was the thought that counted and warmed me up more than the food itself.

* * *

><p>The room was dim and quiet. Natsuki slept by my side. Was it another morning or was I unconscious longer than a few hours?<p>

"Natsuki," I whispered, immediately regretting that I had to wake her up. "Natsuki, I need your help."

Natsuki stirred for a moment, yawned and rubbed her eyes. I would fawn over this adorable sight if it wasn't for the more pressing matters.

"Natsuki, go to my reading room. I need to know what's on my desk."

The girl yawned a few more times, scratched her head in an equally precious manner and scrambled towards the door. Before she even left the room, I passed out again.

* * *

><p>"Shizuru, Shizuru!" Someone's husky voice intruded into my dreamless sleep. "Shizuru, wake up!"<p>

I lifted my eyelids, just a little bit, and saw a pale face and two burning, anxious emeralds.

"The... desk?" I rasped, my lips parched and my tongue leaden.

"Please, don't scare me like that." Trembling fingers swept through my tangled hair, easing the knots and eventually resting on my cheek. "Desk, right. There was some red string, laid out like this," she drew some symbol on my bedding. "And the prayer scrolls were..."

It was all I needed to know. The rest was meaningless.

"Good. Then it'll soon be finished."

I closed my eyes, calm and peaceful despite the worried screams of Natsuki.

* * *

><p>I awoke to the soft light.<p>

My hand was raised and touching something soft and delicate. I splayed my fingers a bit, trying to recognize this softness but keeping my limb up proved too much and I let it fall onto the bedding. It didn't rest there for long though.

"Shizuru, at least try," came troubled voice from somewhere above me. "I can't do this myself, you know?"

Cold and clammy fingers closed upon my wrist and brought my hand up, putting it to the very same softness as before. Once more, this time with my arm propped by the owner of the voice, I set upon identifying what was under my palm. It was soft and firm at the same time; sweeping a thumb over its plains I discovered exquisite smoothness. And when I squeezed it a bit, in order to further explore the firmness...

"Urgh, Shizuru..."

I finally recognized the voice and gathering the remains of strength, opened my eyes.

Natsuki was straddling my hips, her shirt open and her lovely breasts exposed. My right hand was resting on the left of pale twins, perky nipple teasing the inside of my palm. I moved my fingers, squeezing gently and in an instant Natsuki's face scrunched as if in pain, her eyes shut tight and teeth worrying the lower lip.

"Natsuki..." I whispered, letting my hand fall. "What are you...?" My voice was raspy from lack of use and the rest of the question died upon my lips.

The girl opened her eyes: the emeralds shimmered with mixed emotions. Her face filled with rosy hue, cute blush tinting her cheeks, and she looked away.

"You're awake, that's good." Her eyes flickered to me and back away. "It should be easier now." She swallowed and took a deep breath before adding: "Just... be gentle... please."

The intention of her words and pose did not escape me but I could not understand the reason behind this unexpected invitation. I let my eyes slide over the cleanly cut profile, the petite nose painted in a delicious shade of red, the pale eyelids fluttering over the entrancing orbs, the slightly parted lips. Then, my sight wandered lower, focusing on these delightful breasts. Even in my pitiful state I longed for a touch of them; I wanted to massage this soft globes and mould them into my palms, I wanted to learn of their taste and feed from them till my thirst would be quenched. But this wasn't the right time. Not the right time at all.

"Shizuru?" The familiar husky voice was laced with tension and confusion. "What are you waiting for?"

I was still so weak that even keeping my eyes open required a great deal of determination. I closed them then, removing the temptation from my sight.

"I can't do this..." A broken whisper was all I could afford.

A ragged breath came to me and then the sheets rustled as Natsuki moved cautiously up. She was straddling my waist now, propping herself firmly with her knees so she would not further hinder my already troubled breathing. She leaned slightly towards me and her warm breath touched my face. I gripped her shirt and pulled the girl until she fell on me, her slim figure gradually becoming rigid. The blush on her cheeks felt against my chest warmer than my strength-sapping fever.

Stroking her raven tresses, I licked my chapped lips and repeated:

"Natsuki, I won't do this."

In an instant, Natsuki was sitting up again and pulling at my left hand. Most obviously, she was trying to put it between her thighs.

"Natsuki, stop!" I heaved, struggling with the girl.

"You have to d-do this, Shizuru!" Once again, she succeeded in capturing my limb and proceeded with her plan, but I was not going down without a fight. "You have to... or you-you... or you perish!"

Natsuki was so distracted with this idea that I finally managed to overpower her and roll us over. I hovered over her, pining slim wrists to the futon, while the girl refused to look me in the eye.

"I will not let you go..." I had to catch a breath before continuing. "Not until you explain..." Violent cough shook my body and I barely avoided falling flat on Natsuki.

"See? That's what I mean!" At this point, the frustration in Natsuki's tone was almost palpable. She patted my back and when the coughing fit subsided, helped me lie down. Our gazes clashed and when it became apparent that I had no intention to budge, Natsuki stood up rather abruptly and turned to leave. "You want to perish? Fine by me! Go and suit yourself, Viola-kamisama!"

In the last desperate attempt to understand the girl's thinking, I caught the hem of her shirt and thanks to reversed momentum, I pulled her back into my arms. It was only when she helplessly snuggled into me that I realised how much determination this entire ordeal cost her.

"Natsuki," I crooned, hugging her and stroking her hair. "I will not perish. At least not yet." Natsuki raised her eyes to me and bit her lower lip before nodding, even if a bit uncertainly. "Will you now explain me everything?"

Natsuki placed her head upon my chest and looked away before starting, her low voice even more husky than usual.

"There was this story of a god who lost his powers and his followers had to offer him whatever he desired the most so he would not perish. But they didn't want to make a sacrifice so the god... so he just..." She took a deep breath and I kept stroking her back. "You fell ill and then the prayer scrolls started disappearing and some of them crumbled to dust. Then you said it'll soon end and you became comatose for more than a day..."

Here her voice broke and I supplied:

"So you decided to offer yourself to save me?" The heat of Natsuki's blush was a more than satisfactory answer. I couldn't help but chuckle and soon this chuckle turned into quiet giggling. "My wonderful, silly, lovely sacrifice." Natsuki snorted and tried to break from my embrace but I stopped her, saying: "Will you stay with me, please? I still need some rest before my strength is truly back."

After a moment of hesitation, Natsuki lay down next to me and pulled the covers over us. Her slim body fitted mine almost perfectly.

"Ne, Shizuru," whispered Natsuki when I was already falling asleep. "So what it really was? Yet another punishment?"

"Ara, does Natsuki think me so sinful as to deserve it? Apart from teasing you whenever I get chance, I claim myself not guilty." The girl mumbled something sounding a lot like "stupid" and when I kept my silence, she poked me in the ribs, prompting to answer her question. "No, it was something different." I sighed; smaller gods lose their power every so often. Apparently, it has something to do with the one time when The One gave up on the power to save some people. But this happened in the distant past and the higher-ups were reluctant to tell about it, so all I knew were some rumours relayed in hushed voices by my fellow gods. "It just... happens. The powers goes and comes baaa..." A yawn snuck into my words.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Natsuki. "I'm not buying it but you clearly need some rest. Or would you rather have some more negi porridge?"

At such an open threat, I pretended to snore and the girl just chuckled lightly before joining me in sleep.

* * *

><p>A few days later, we were once again spending the evening by the fireplace, cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows in our hands, courtesy of Natsuki's whim.<p>

Watching the white cubes drifting in my cup, I inquired softly:

"Natsuki, if I asked you for a different story today, would you indulge me?"

Natsuki took a sip of the hot beverage and sighed contentedly, before stating:

"Sure." She smiled brightly and looked towards me. "What would like to hear?"

"Could you tell me why are you so afraid of the loving touch? Has anyone hurt you?" I scrutinized her face. "I would never cause you any pain."

"I know, I know, " chuckled Natsuki, her smile turning into a melancholic one. "But... It's a pretty nasty story... Are you sure you want to hear it right now?"

"If you're willing to tell it." I watched Natsuki fishing out a marshmallow and chewing on it, deeply in thought. "If it so painful that Natsuki would rather keep it to herself..."

"No, it's okay." She pulled her legs up and curled completely in the armchair. "I'll tell you."

* * *

><p><strong>Now, if you can't wait for Natsuki's story I'll give you a hint. We'll meet someone who's quite (in)famous and who has not yet appeared in this story :P<strong>

**Since I've ranted quit a bit at the beginning, I only thank you once more for your continuing support - right! the story of Ungrateful Anh is courtesy of Romanica's request ;P - and ask you to wait patiently for the rest. We're slowly coming to the climax of the story :)**

**Keep warm!**

***Natsuki pops out of nowhere, pulls a crinkled paper from her pocket and reads in Cookie Monster voice: _My Lovely Sacrifice was brought to you today by bettyful and several cups of Darjeeling Green_***

**P.S. No, she did NOT use the same negi. Come on, people - Natsuki's smarter than that :P**


	7. Chapter 6: Revelations

**My beta said I won't write this chapter in two weeks. And I proved her wrong :D** **Though I probably shouldn't say that 'cause now you'd want new chapter before the summer break ^.^**

**On with the story!**

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><p>Mai had a good life.<p>

She got married quite young, to an honest and hard-working man. They weren't in love but they respected and cherished each other, and in time some love-like bond formed between them. They never had children so when the man died prematurely - whether in an accident or from some disease Natsuki couldn't recall - Mai was left on her own.

But a woman of heart this great couldn't stay alone for long; a few months after her husband's death, Mai took in an orphan from the village. After a while, a young couple whose daughter was suffering from partial paresis paid the woman a visit. They were simple farmers and as the child grew older, they found raising her out of their capability. Glad to be needed, Mai took care of this girl as well.

And that's how it all started. Through the years, many girls - usually orphaned or touched with various mental and physical disabilities - were accepted into Mai's household and raised with great love, as well as great discipline. At some point, the woman moved out of the village and into a small farm, to provide her wards with conditions in which they could live peacefully.

When Natsuki arrived under Mai's roof after her mother's death, she was no more than five years old. Among the girls, there was one, a couple years older, that got her attention more than any other and who became to Natsuki as her older sister.

The girl's name was Nao and she was one of these free-spirited individuals who can't be fitted into a mould with any amount of discipline. She made nothing of Mai's admonishments, wandering off whenever she felt like, skipping on her chores and - to her caretaker's great despair - smoking and drinking with village adolescents.

It happened when Natsuki was about eleven, maybe twelve years old. Nao was nowhere to be found so Mai sent my girl to the village to bring her back, knowing she was the only one capable of persuading the rebellious one to anything. In her search for her sister, Natsuki wandered behind the tavern, half-expecting the older girl to be squeezing some guy in the shadows.

But she was wrong: not only did she not find Nao, but stumbled onto a small group of drunken lads. She tried to back off quietly but one of them spotted her and almost instantly Natsuki found herself surrounded by sweaty bodies, buzzing with hormones and alcohol, looking for some cheap fun. My smart girl knew how to defend herself so - even if shivers were running down her spine - she kicked the guy in front of her in his intimate parts. He doubled in pain but Natsuki soon regretted her action as two pairs of strong hands caught her with force that she couldn't overcome. She called for help but the night was still young and tavern's patrons were making too much ruckus to hear her.

Self-proclaimed group leader finally got over the pain and swearing that she would pay him threefold for the kick, he grabbed at Natsuki's face, forcing her into a kiss. Could it even be called a kiss: mouth moving sloppily, teeth roughly bruising innocent lips, tongue pushed inside without consent... By Heavens! this was not how one should learn of carnal love! This was not how she should be kissed...

In an act of desperation, the girl bit her oppressor's tongue and fell to the ground, shoved aside by the guy. She curled into a ball, prepared for beating or something far worse when suddenly a familiar voice resounded in the alley. It was Nao, offering the group company of someone more their age, someone better-versed in what they sought.

Natsuki was told to go home and not to mention anything to Aunt Mai. At Nao's insistence she did just that, albeit reluctantly because she noticed tremble and apprehension in the older girl's voice. She was the only one who noticed, drunken lads happily accepting the new company and a promise of fun without risk of being kicked or bitten.

Nao came home well into the night, her steps stiff and cautious as if she was in pain. But when Natsuki asked her, she denied, patting the girl's head and making her promise she won't worry their caretaker. It was one promise Natsuki would regret her entire life. She thought that maybe if she had told Mai about what happened that night, Nao would still be alive.

Yet, she remained silent and for the next few days Nao was the most obedient and quiet girl in Mai's household. Then one night she just sneaked out and disappeared. A few days later, someone found her body washed upon a lakeside...

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><p>We were sitting on a rug in front of a fireplace. Sometime during Natsuki's story we moved from the armchairs so that I could easily hold the girl in my arms, occasionally stroking her hair or rocking us lightly.<p>

Surprisingly enough, even though her voice wavered from time to time, Natsuki has not shed a tear. She explained that Nao wouldn't want her to sob and blubber, not even because of all this.

"But sometimes I do miss her, Shizuru." Natsuki cuddled into me a bit. "I even miss how she cursed at me whenever I hid her smokes because I didn't like how she smelled of them..."

We both chuckled, though my girl did that not without a hint of sadness.

"Nao did what she thought best because she must have greatly cared for Natsuki. Now I feel obliged to help her as well." I took Natsuki's face in my palms, tracing the corner of her mouth with my thumb. "Forget about those drunken lads, my lovely. Let this become your first kiss. Let all the past ones be gone and forgotten as if they never happened."

I caught her lips in a gentle kiss, caressing them for but a shortest moment, with all sweetness and tenderness I had in my heart. When I pulled back, my lips tingling and longing for more, Natsuki looked at me with wide eyes, her slim fingers touching where my mouth was just before.

"Shizuru..." She started, her voice edging between awe and amusement. "You just... Do you mean you've just stolen my first kiss?"

"That's... not exactly what I had in mind." In truth, I only wanted to help Natsuki forget the past, replacing it with something good. "But if Natsuki sees it this way I most certainly don't mind being called a thief."

Lovely shade of pink tinted the porcelain cheeks and pale eyelids half-covered emerald orbs. Smirking, I swept my thumb over slightly parted lips.

"Of course, I wouldn't mind giving back what I have so wrongfully taken but I'm afraid that Natsuki would see it rather as an attempt to steal her second kiss as well."

The girl burst into rippling laughter, leaning into my hand.

"Auntie Mai would say you are just like Nao. Incorrigible!" Suddenly, she stood up, her expression unexpectedly stern. "The law states that thieves shall be severely punished. Come with me and humbly accept what you deserve."

I took Natsuki's hand and let her take me to the kitchen where I was seated by the table and told to keep my eyes closed. Straining my ears, I heard the girl's rummaging in the pantry, and then her victorious shout, followed by her footsteps coming back to me.

"Lo and behold!" A tad nervous, I opened my eyes. Natsuki was holding a jar; she took the lid off and presented me with its contents. "This is your punishment."

I easily recognised thick substance in the jar as mayo, Natsuki's beloved condiment. But there was something different about its smell, some light and tangy note that I couldn't name.

"Open your mouth." Swallowing, I sent Natsuki a desperate look. Was she going to feed me entire jar of this sauce? My girl just rolled her eyes, dipped a finger in mayo and held it by my mouth. "Come on, open up."

There was this twinkle in her eye, this mischievous glint... Bracing myself I took her finger in my mouth, only to be amazed when I noticed quite noticeable difference from the taste I remembered.

"It's... good. Kind of refreshing... And..." There was some definitely familiar flavour to this portion of mayo. I dipped my finger in the jar to try a bit more. Suddenly, I understood. "Green tea?!"

Natsuki beamed and nodded her head.

"Auntie Mai tried for a couple of days before she could get the ratio right. You like it, right?"

"Mhm. But methinks it tastes best when eaten like this..." I took Natsuki's hand, dipped her finger in green tea mayo and proceeded to lick it off. "Yes, this is the best."

My lovely girl burned bright red and muttered under her breath, but her face was still adorned with the most enchanting smile.

* * *

><p>"To sum up, Natsuki owes me three sessions of feet massage, two months long abstemiousness from mayo..."<p>

"Oi, you staked eating a whole jar of it and if I'm not mistaken - lost that one. Why don't we say those two cancel each other?"

I thought for a moment and struck that point out of my list. After all, I have won a lot more from Natsuki that night.

It started innocently, with a game of draughts just to kill time. Sometime during the kings' chase one of us suggested to bet on the outcome. As a single game of draughts took quite long to resolve a bet, we switched to other games. Several rounds of charades, gomoku and twenty questions - among others - later, I ended with quite a long list of things promised by Natsuki.

"Oh, and my personal favourite: teaching Natsuki a tea ceremony so she could one day perform it for me."

Dark brows went up and my girl's face scrunched in thought.

"When did I lose that one? I'm pretty sure I was leading at that round of pick-up-sticks."

"You were until you pricked yourself with a trident." Natsuki only nodded desolately. I didn't want this evening, previously joyous and full of laughter, to end on a sour note thus I proposed: "Natsuki, do you still feel like gambling? Why don't we make one final bet and play a single round of poker to see who's got more luck. What would you say?" Seeing how my girl was considering this option, I added: "Whatever the outcome might be, all previous bets will be null and void. If Natsuki gets a higher hand, she can ask me for anything that lies within my power. And should I be the lucky one..." Here I paused, thinking for a moment about the best prize. "Should I be the lucky one, I want Natsuki to spend the night with me."

The girl blushed but actually took her time to consider my proposition.

"Just one deal and whoever gets the higher hand, gets it all?" I nodded. "I'm in. Anything to get myself out of some stuff on your list." She grinned to me. "And you better be ready for my wish."

Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I procured a deck and I put it before Natsuki.

"I believe Natsuki should be the one to shuffle and deal the cards." I smiled teasingly and added, before the girl could protest: "After all, we will be relying on luck and not on our own skills. I wouldn't want Natsuki to think that I use my powers to cheat and win this one."

Natsuki got pensive for a moment, but soon enough her lips were graced with a warm smile.

"But you won't do it consciously, right? You don't plan on magically picking out all the highest cards to win me?"

"Never!" I hastily denied. "I would never..."

"Then it's okay." Interjected my girl and pushed the deck towards me. "Shuffle, deal and we'll see who's got Lady Luck's favour."

Taking beautifully decorated cards in my hands I paused for a moment to ponder Natsuki's words. Could I even influence such a thing? Was it within my power to change the outcome of a game of chance? And if the answer was affirmative, would I really dare to do that just to make my wish come true?

Cardboard pieces were shuffled and dealt, five for Natsuki and five for me. I put the deck aside and gathered my cards, not looking at them yet.

"Are you sure, Natsuki? We can always rematch tomorrow evening." Suddenly, I wasn't so sure of this "one final bet" idea.

"I don't like to leave things hanging over me." With a wide grin, she added, picking up the cards: "And I got nothing to lose."

A moment of silence, as she studied what was dealt and then:

"Yes!" shouted joyfully Natsuki. "You won't beat this one!" She laid out her cards with a triumphant sweep. A pair of Emperors and three cards with Priestess, a set often called a Royal Court. In other words, one of the highest possible hands and consisting of the highest cards as well. "Now, let me think of my prize..."

I smiled softly at the bright light in her eyes and the thoughtful pose she assumed. Somehow glad that I wasn't the one favoured by fate, I looked at my own cards.

"Maybe I could make you let me go and just visit you when you need company... "

I barely stopped my face from felling.

"Nah, that'd be a waste of a prize. Hmm... What else, what else..."

"Natsuki," raising eyes from the cards in my hand, I softly called her name. So immersed in thoughts was she that I had to repeat, a bit louder. "Natsuki."

"And then we could picnic by that lake in the mountains and you'll have to prepare me sticky sticks by yourself. Yep, that's a good plan. You were saying?" Apparently, it took some time before my soft cooing registered in her mind.

With an almost apologetic smile, I showed her my cards: all of them of the lowest values but with with a quad of twos I had a hand even higher than Natsuki's. It took only a moment for the girl to understand the situation. The emerald eyes opened wide, glimmering, and a soft chuckle escaped Natsuki's lips.

"Lady Luck has a weird sense of humour, doesn't she? I guess it must be the being a goddess stuff because she's just like you in this matter." Natsuki closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So, where do you want have me?"

The calm, sad smile gracing Natsuki's features at that moment was so unlike her that my heart twitched. I wanted to bring back the childlike joy that was lighting her face up just a few heartbeats earlier. I wanted her eyes to be burning with fire of laughter and passion and not drowning in resignation to her fate.

She was still not looking at me so when I sat behind and embraced her, Natsuki yelped.

"Shizuru!" Her body tensed, as if in anticipation of something unpleasant. "He-here? It's... Is it... good idea? I thought..."

"Ara, it seems to me that my Natsuki thinks a bit too much about naughty things." I perched my chin on her shoulder and felt the heat of her blush. "I only remember mentioning having Natsuki's company for the night. I never said what I want to do with her."

I loosened my embrace so the girl could turn to face me. She shot me an exasperated look, full of incredulity.

"B-but Shizuru! You said you want to spend the night and this usually mean one thing. I don't want you to think I won't keep my end of the deal just because..."

I put a finger to Natsuki's soft lips, effectively silencing her.

"If Natsuki insists so much that this is how she wants to spend the night with me," I deliberately paused and looked deep into the anxious emeralds. "Then I shall wait for her in the bath." I hugged the girl closely one more time, whispering: "Trust me, Natsuki, and join whenever you are ready."

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><p>Long, aromatic baths always were my favourite - right after quiet tea-time at the veranda - way of relaxation. It was readily visible in my bathroom where, beside the small tube, I had a more traditional open bath where up to five people could soak at once. Well, that or indulge themselves in even more sensual pleasures as I used to in the past.<p>

It was in this bath, filled with deliciously warm water, that I waited for Natsuki's arrival. The air was permeated with a sweet aroma of citrusy bath salts. I submerged deeper, enjoying the caresses of water on my skin, and a content sigh escaped my lips. My back was turned to the door so I didn't see when my girl entered the room.

It was by the quiet rustling of a towel that I learned of her presence. Even then, not wanting to further embarrass her, I stayed in place with my eyes closed. I heard her running water and most probably scrubbing herself clean before she could join me for a soak. Finally, soft padding of her feet closed in and water lapped at my side as Natsuki stepped into the bath.

Through half-opened eyes, I watched her wading through the water and sitting at the opposite side. While this gave me great view of her body, I didn't find it enough. Wondering, whether the red tint on her features came from the temperature or embarrassment, I scooted closer, within an arm's reach.

Natsuki looked at me and wordlessly closed the distance between us, her naked shoulder bumping against mine. Once again, I closed my eyes, reveling in the girl's closeness. As the silence was prolonging, a single thought wormed its way into my mind, a sudden urge to share something with the one by my side.

"Natsuki," I started softly and immediately felt her eyes falling upon me. I felt her body tensing, unsure of what I may want from her. "Have you ever wondered what your life would look like if somewhere in the past you've made a different choice?"

I chanced a look at the girl and even though she said nothing, the curiosity in her eyes made me continue.

"At times like this I often go back to the first days of my existence. To the choices I made back then. If I did things differently, would I still be here with you? Would I ever have a chance to meet you, get to know you and be gifted so many wonderful experiences?"

* * *

><p>Smaller gods are not born as ones. We are created as free spirits, given human body and left on our own till it becomes clear what kind of powers we should be given.<p>

My very first memory is one of a green meadow, swept by a gentle afternoon breeze. That's where I came to consciousness, laying in the grass, my eyes opening to the blue skies adorned with cloudlets. I had no recollection of who I was or what was I doing in that place. Just my name: Shizuru and an irresistible call to stand up and follow the clouds.

It took me a while to get a grasp of how my limbs were working, my first movements either too stiff or too soft. Finally, I found the right rhythm and set upon a journey, without a faintest idea of... of anything, actually.

Just as the sun was beginning to set, it became harder to move, my legs heavier by each step and my body making weird, rumbling noises. Noticing another human being in a distance, I headed their way, hoping they would know who I am. But as I neared the woman standing by the well, I faltered; there were no words in my head - how was I going to ask her anything? The woman must have taken this for a sign of weakness, for she took my arm.

"Are you alright, missy?" Her warm eyes looked at me with worry. Before I could open my mouth, the rumbling in my belly came back and the woman smiled. "Ah, you must be hungry, am I right?"

I thought for a moment.

"Yes," I nodded, realising that this was a word for the need I felt. "I am... hungry. You... help?"

I heard but a few words from this stranger and yet, my head was starting to fill with words, with the language used by her. The woman smiled even wider, crow's feet forming by her eyes. She offered to feed me and put me up for the night, if I help her carry water buckets. The buckets looked heavy and I was not only hungry, but tired as well. After all, it was the very first day of my existence and I wasn't used to living. But I agreed. Later, it would turn out that I made the right choice.

* * *

><p>I paused for a moment, taking a look at my companion. Natsuki was completely engrossed in my story, her eyes twinkling with excitement like that of a child. Smiling gently, I reached with left hand to put a strand of raven hair behind her ear. She blushed at this gesture, looking away, and I used this moment to urge her to sit in my lap. The girl complied not without a reluctance but soon enough her tension melted away and she leaned against my shoulder.<p>

It's funny how - even though my hands were itching for more - I felt satisfied just by having her so close to me. Sighing happily, I kissed the crown of her head and resumed my story.

* * *

><p>The next morning, my good hostess asked for my plans. Since I had none - I still had no idea who I was, let alone where I was and what I was supposed to do - she offered me to stay at her place, help her take care of the house and the garden, and her children. I was to do basic chores and in return her family would provide me with board and lodging. I wholeheartedly agreed and stayed there for some time.<p>

Eventually, the autumn came and one day a fair was organised in the nearby town. Kaede, my hostess, called her children and gave each of them a small coin so they could take part in the festivities. This was meant as a reward for their help during harvest. Then she called me and with a warm smile that almost never left her features, handed me a coin as well. My heart leapt with joy so I hugged the woman before running after the kids.

The fair overwhelmed me with abundance of games and treats. Street vendors shouted, inviting people to their booths, dancers and tumblers performed here and there, food stalls tempted with delicious smells. I stood a bit to the side, considering how my coin should best be spent when I noticed a skinny lad, hanging by the skewers vendor. Every once in while, he would come up to one of the customers and ask them something, only to be pushed aside, his face saddening.

It took me a while of close observation to understand that he was asking for some charity, be it money or food. I looked at the coin in my hand; it wasn't much but I could use it to feed him. On the other hand, if I spent it for him, I wouldn't be able to participate in any game later. Still lost in thought, I closed my palm over the coin and in this moment, the boy started to move away from the vendors, obviously having given up.

Without thinking, I ran after him, caught his ragged sleeve and tugged him back to the food sellers. I put the coin on the counter and asked the man running the booth to give me its worth in his wares. He eyed both of us intently, finally sliding money into his pouch and turning back to prepare our food. A few moments later, we were each given a bread bowl, filled with piping hot stew. I thanked the seller and started away from the booth, when his low, rumbling voice reached me.

"Missy, you forgot to take these as well." His big palms were holding a handful of small honeyed cookies. I looked at the treat with utter confusion; this much goodness for a single coin. But the man only smiled and pointed his chin towards the greedily eating boy. "Don't forget to share with you friend."

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><p>"And that was the second choice that determined who I am today."<p>

"What about the third?" Natsuki looked at me with curiosity. "Things like this usually come in threes."

"The third..." I wondered aloud, slowly stroking raven tresses. "You could say there was a third one as well... When it came I had been living with Kaede's family for quite a long time. Everyone had already considered me one of their own. Then one day, I woke up with the urge to leave them. To leave it all. Not only the house and its occupants, not only the village and its surroundings, but everything. Some voice kept whispering in my ear to stand up, put my shoes on and follow the wind."

Many a time did I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't answered the call. If I hadn't said my goodbyes and departed from these that I held dear.

"Natsuki," I murmured, desperately needing a change of subject before the tears flowed from my eyes. "You're mine for the night, right?" A quiet hum of acquiescence. "Then will you allow me one more indulgence?"

Emerald orbs hid behind the eyelids and light blush adorned Natsuki's cheeks as she inquired:

"You won me, you don't have to ask... Still, what indulgence do you have in mind?"

"Will Natsuki..." I licked my lips, suddenly feeling hesitant. "Will Natsuki let me wash her hair?"

Her eyes shot open, their depths sparkling with amusement.

"Why do you even ask?" With laughter, she pulled me out of the bath and to the low stool, designed for pre-soaking ablutions. "Do your bidding, o mighty goddess, for this humble individual puts herself to your mercy."

Was she trying to tease the master of teasing? Chuckling at how she managed to pull me out of the painful memories, I put some shampoo onto her scalp. It felt nice, to have my fingers entwined in the soft tresses of her hair. And if Natsuki's sigh was any indication, I wasn't the only one who enjoyed this massage.

"So?" Inquired all of the sudden the husky voice. "How have those choices brought you to where you are today?"

"You could probably call them a test." Having rinsed Natsuki's hair, I applied some more shampoo and resumed my previous activity. "Soon after leaving Kaede's household I lost consciousness and awoke to a completely different reality. I was made a goddess because the test seemingly proved that I possess all necessary qualities."

"You don't sound too convinced." I didn't respond so Natsuki asked: "What happened to Kaede and her family?"

"I don't know. I tried to find her with my powers to at least thank her for her kindness but it was as if she hadn't existed in the first place." I shrugged and once again rinsed Natsuki's hair. "Maybe she hadn't. Maybe she was just some lower spirit, acting its part for the test to be run. Don't think about that." I leaned forward and embraced Natsuki. "Thank you for this night, Natsuki," I whispered in her ear and stood up, making my way back to the bath.

I expected her to call it a night and leave the bathroom so I was pleasantly surprised when she followed me, entering the bath and resuming her place on my lap.

"You know, Shizuru," murmured Natsuki, pressing her heated face into my shoulder. "Actually, I'm glad that you passed this test." This left me speechless - wouldn't it be better for her if I failed it over and over again? "Cause if you had failed I would probably never have the chance to meet you."

And you'd still be living peacefully with your Aunt and Tardy Trio. You wouldn't worry every day if this perverted goddess loses control over her desires and forces you to pay for your life by attending her in her bed. You would most probably be much better off...

"Natsuki," I cooed softly but to no response. Has she fallen asleep? No, her heart was beating way too strong and too quick for that. Was she giving me a leeway then so I could act upon my longings, spending the night with her in the way she meant it earlier?

Two could play this game.

I lifted Natsuki up, dried her and dressed in the nightwear. Then, I carried her to her room and laid her upon the futon. At the thought of how these moments resembled our first evening together, I couldn't stop a chuckle.

"Sleep well, my lovely one. I am grateful for what you gave me this night." I leaned closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You make me glad that I passed the test as well."

* * *

><p><strong>*a minute of silence for Nao*<strong>

**You didn't expect that one, am I right? :) **

**It's kinda sad but we're almost at the end of the story. The next chapter shall take us back to the beginning of the "flashback" that started way back, in chapter 2.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and stuff. You are the greatest boost to one's self-consciousness! :)**

**Here come's the bad news: I work in a public office and in the second part of June we're being inspected by Supreme Audit Office. This means double workload as all paperwork must be put in order (not that we ever slack but the Boss of mine is over-sensitive when it comes to the smallest things. :P) What I mean to say: there's high possibility that the next chapter of this story and '30 shekels' won't be up until somewhere in July. Gomen in advance *bows***


	8. Chapter 7: Last Night

**Gosh, this chapter's been such a drag to write...**

**Hey, hey, people - it's me again :D If there's anyone still waiting for this story, here you are, a new chappy of virgin/goddess romance.**

**Thanks for any reviews and stuff - they kept me going when I was ready to throw this chapter away (Shiz is so stupid =.=)**

**Hope you'll have a wonderful summer! Mine will definitely be - one week in Cracow with a friend of mine. Anyone wants to get a postcard? :) I can spare a few stamps so shoot me PM if you're interested ;)**

**On with the story!**

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><p>My tea has long gone cold.<p>

Still, I pour some more into the cup and a pathetic chuckle escapes my lips. Floating upright on the tea surface, there is a small stalk. Auspicious sign, isn't it? Right now, when I would need the higher gods' blessing most. Yet, I see it as nothing more than a vicious giggle of fate.

The sun has set. The evening breeze chills my body but I realise that it doesn't matter. At this current state of mine, neither heat nor cold can bother me. Sunrises and sunsets are mere indicators of passing time and nothing more. I get up in the morning, go about my habits and duties and lay down well into the night, more often than not wakeful until it's time to rise again. I have allowed this routine to consume me so that something much worse wouldn't have a chance to.

I light a candle, willing the creeping darkness away from me. The light brings me company: a moth. Small nocturnal butterfly, enticed by the flame, circles around it, with each move of fragile wings spiraling closer to its demise. Fly away, little one. Fly before you burn...

Alas, it is too late. Brittle wings catch on fire and the moth falls convulsing onto the table. Unable to watch it suffer, I cover the small insect with both hands. When I retract them, the moth flies away, navigating toward much safer moonlight.

If only other things could be fixed as easily...

* * *

><p>That night...<p>

That night, I laid Natsuki upon her futon and sat by her side. The restless stirring that rose in me on the night when we first met, awakened once again. I reached for Natsuki's flushed face, wondering at how unexpectedly shaky my fingers were. With the back of my left hand, I stroked her heated cheek, my thumb lingering at the corner of her mouth.

Slim lips quivered and porcelain eyelids clenched even more tightly. When I moved raven tresses from her face, the girl turned and lied on her back, still pretending to be asleep. At this sight of her, so open and vulnerable, I couldn't stop a nervous chuckle. She surely wasn't against this. Otherwise, wouldn't she protest like she used to in the past?

Repeating this in my mind like some kind of mantra, I lied down beside Natsuki, moments later gathering her in my arms. She was rigid and her erratic heartbeat was so strong that I felt it thumping against my chest. I shuffled a bit so that Natsuki half-rested on me. Cooing into her ear and stroking her hair, still damp from our bath, I felt her slowly relaxing. She all but melted into me and left me at awe. Her smaller body fitted mine as if we were made as one and only separated later.

I could probably savour this feeling of completeness for ever if it wasn't for the obnoxious stirring in my bowels. Stirring that filled me with need, that made my hands itch and my mind go dizzy. Because of that stirring I let my hands wander up and down Natsuki's back, tracing her spine. I let my fingers sneak under her shirt, revelling in the smoothness of her skin...

In that very moment Natsuki snuggled into me and I froze, my hands stopped in their tentative explorations. Was I really going to take her like this, pretending to be asleep so as to give me dubious consent? I kissed the crown of the dark head, mentally berating myself. This was the one thing I promised Natsuki never to do so, even if a tad reluctantly, I pulled my fingers back and smoothed her shirt.

"Natsuki," I whispered but the rest stuck in my throat. I tried again. "Natsuki..." What was I supposed to say? I felt at a loss for words; there were none that could express the current turmoil in my heart.

My lovely girl understood me anyway. Clenching a fist on my robe, she muttered something unintelligible. At that moment, her husky voice, coupled with childlike innocence of her face, was like a balm on the fire in my core, soothing my mind and body.

I covered her hand with mine and watched how she gradually fell asleep, this time for real. Soon enough, I joined her.

* * *

><p>After that night, something changed in my perception of Natsuki.<p>

Where once was a lovely child, a beautiful woman appeared. Her moves and gestures, not so long ago cute and charming, now became sexy and alluring. Her words took on a double meaning, teasing me with their ambiguity. Everything that she did - from her morning stretches to the way she ate her meals to her unique ways of doing the chores - everything proved a fuel to the fire in my core. Day after day, hour after hour, I found no respite from the stirring in my bowels.

I should have probably sit down with Natsuki and talk to her about my concerns and desires. But every single time when I wanted to do this, something told me that this won't do. That the girl will agree to my every whim out of some misguided gratitude. And so I decided to deal with the fire on my own.

It is funny, how these days resembled the beginnings of our acquaintance, only with our roles reversed. Afraid of fulfilling my desires regardless of the price, I started to avoid Natsuki. I either hid from her in my reading room or found numerous errands that would require her going to the human realm. But this proved counter-productive: the more I eluded Natsuki, the more she sought after my company. It was as if she didn't notice any change in my sight. I needed a way to vent some of my desire and I needed it quick.

The solution presented itself when I was going through prayer scrolls and noticed one particularly long and lavishly decorated. I recognised the prayer of this one in an instant for her pleas, not rare in the past, became even more frequent after Natsuki's spiriting.

The girl, no more than sixteen years old, has been - for as long as she could remember - dreaming about being taken by a goddess. And by this, she did not mean only spiritual taking. In the past, I used to find this desire amusing so ever since she hit puberty once in a while I sent her a pleasantly distracting dream. A dream more teasing than erotic, in fact.

But what I was planning to do now was radically different from the almost innocent dreams. The girl was still holding onto her desire and I intended to fulfill it for her. Even though the very thought of the deed filled my heart with revulsion, I could not find a better vessel for my lust. If I couldn't have Natsuki - and the fact that I did deny this pleasure myself didn't matter - I would vent some steam with Tomoe.

I came for her just as she imagined, when the sun kissed the earth goodbye. She was sitting in her room, sketching a scene closely resembling the ones from her prayers. I observed her for a while, paying as much attention to the drawing as I did to her. Noticing, how detailed and disturbing the picture was, I couldn't stop a shudder. For one who was supposedly a virgin, this girl did have a vivid imagination...

I leaned over Tomoe, placing my hand over hers, effectively stopping her pencil midline. She closed her eyes and sat tight, apparently knowing it was her dream turning true. She was too calm to my liking. Shouldn't she be at least a little disconcerted by my sudden appearance? I blew into her ear and whispered seductively:

"Will you draw me, vixen?"

Tomoe just swept asymmetrically cut fringe from her eyes and kept shading her picture. I grew uneasy: has she given up on this fantasy? Just as I was ready to either abduct her against her will or pretend that this meeting never happened, the girl put the pencil down. She turned to me with a predatory gleam in her eyes and caught my lips in a fierce kiss. Stunned, I drew away.

"Only if you let me do a nude, Viola-kamisama."

For Natsuki's good, I reminded myself, before spiriting Tomoe to my heavens.

* * *

><p>Two or three days later, the three of us were sharing breakfast. The day has barely started and I already found the air suffocating. Between Tomoe's constant chattering and Natsuki's heavy silence I kept second-guessing my decision to take Tomoe for my second companion.<p>

"Enough!" barked Natsuki, slamming her cup on the table. Under my chastening gaze, she took a deep breath and said: "Shizuru, I'd be grateful if your new friend stopped yapping."

I chuckled lightly but Tomoe beat me to responding.

"A little grumpy, aren't we?" She flashed me a smile. "Viola-kamisama, I think you're pet is quite dozy today. Didn't get enough sleep, I wonder?"

"Hard to get some sleep when someone," Natsuki sent Tomoe pointed look. "Keeps screaming and moaning all night." She put the chopsticks down and rubbed her face tiredly. "I didn't sleep a wink."

"Natsuki..." I whispered. This desolate, resigned expression on her face certainly wasn't what I aimed for. Yet, once again Tomoe intervened, putting a scrap of braised veal to my mouth. While I was chewing, she snickered at Natsuki:

"Aren't you simply jealous? You've been here for almost a year and I for a few days and I already know Viola-kamisama better than you." Tomoe's chuckle sent shivers down my spine. "Or maybe I should say... deeper than you?"

Quite unexpectedly, Natsuki started to laugh. She laughed hard for a while before finally sighing and wiping tears from her eyes.

"You know her better? And that's why you feed her meat that almost never made it to this table before your arrival?" Taking chopsticks in her left hand, Natsuki hovered them over the dishes. "Close your eyes, Shizuru, so she won't say you're giving me hints." I followed the girl's request and a few moments later I heard: "Okay, open up."

With my eyes still closed, I allowed Natsuki to feed me whatever she has chosen. As soon as first tangy notes hit my tongue, I couldn't contain a smile. Fresh pickles were my favourite for they reminded me of time spent with Kaede's family. I still savoured the taste when Tomoe bridled.

"Pff, so you know her likes in food and? Any good servant should know it. Or a pet." My new companion smirked. "Do you get a pat on your head and a treat for doing the chores?"

I waited for Natsuki to flare-up but she just calmly set her chopsticks on the table, set aside unfinished dishes and stood up.

"Thank you for the food but I'm not hungry. If you'll excuse me I go and try to catch some sleep." She looked at me; for a split second I noticed sadness and longing hidden deep within her emerald eyes. Eyes that were growing more and more dull with every passing day. "In your reading room, if it's not a problem?"

I shook my head.

"Not at all."

A few hours later, having left Tomoe to her indecent sketches, I stopped by the reading room. Reminding myself to keep my steps light and quiet, I rounded the armchair placed by the fireplace. In it, curled and snugly wrapped in a blanket, Natsuki dozed. I crouched in front of her and gently moved a strand of raven hair away from her face. Asleep, she was even more of a child, content in the land of her dreams.

I let my hand slip down her face, stroking delicate skin, sweeping my thumb over the distinct cheekbone. Half aware of what I was doing, I leaned in, intent on kissing her, on letting my lips touch just a corner of hers. In that very moment pale eyelids fluttered open and I found myself gazing right into the deep emeralds.

Caught almost red-handed, I scrambled backwards, sitting heavily on the floor. Green eyes, though a bit groggy, smiled at me.

"You okay?"

Moving into a proper seiza, I watched how she stretched under the blanket, obviously unwilling to leave its warm confines.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" I scanned her carefully for any traces of tiredness.

"Yeah, I'm much better now." We sat for a moment in amiable silence, until Natsuki asked: "Weren't you going to read the prayers?"

"Actually, I was checking on Natsuki but since she mentions that...' I looked behind me at the pile of prayer scroll accumulated over the past three days. "I should do some reading. But wouldn't it be a bother to you, my lovely? Are you sure you don't want to sleep a bit longer?"

"You're never a bother..." Realising what she has said, Natsuki blushed and pulled the blanket higher up.

With a warm smile lighting my face, I stepped to my desk to get the prayer scrolls, stroking the dark head in the passing.

* * *

><p>"Shizuru, will you... will you let me go?"<p>

Natsuki's words made my heart clench in pain, but even more so pained me her sight. She stood hunched in front of me, her bare feet shuffling from time to time. Raven hair, devoid of its lustrous shine, hung like a curtain over pale face, hiding her eyes. Oversized shirt, her favourite sleeping attire, made her look like a lost child.

"Natsuki, why would you...?" I gasped when she looked at me and the rest of the question stuck in my constricted throat.

Three weeks has passed since I spirited Tomoe. Three weeks that were nowhere near to how I had imagined them. Tomoe and Natsuki could not get along, and not for the lack of trying on my lovely girl's part. My new companion turned out to be the exact opposite of the prayer I knew. Maybe her sketches and details included in prayers should have raised at least some doubts at me but at that time I was focused solely on suppressing my desire. The desire that still kept stirring in my core.

And now, Natsuki stood in front of me, clearly tired of this triangle we were living in.

"You have Tomoe now and I think you're happy with her." She looked away and light blush tinted her cheeks. "She gives you what I can not. You two will be better off without me, I think."

Cringing at the tension in her husky voice, I stepped closer, took Natsuki's face in my hands and forced her to look at me. I reached into the emerald depths, trying to find... What was I trying to find? Confirmation that my oh-so-brilliant plan backfired? Will to stay with me and have Tomoe gone? What was I searching for under the turmoil of emotions that filled her glistening eyes?

Before I could say or do a thing, an impatient call came from down the hall.

"Viola-kamisama! Are you coming to bed?" Natsuki closed her eyes and tried to step away, but I held her firmly. "Your little Moe-chan needs her breastfeeding before going to sleep."

Placing a kiss on Natsuki's heated forehead, I whispered:

"Tomorrow. We'll finish this tomorrow, I promise."

As soon as she nodded, I retreated to my bedroom.

* * *

><p>The late morning was unusually sunny and crisp air filtered into the room through a slightly open window. I lied supine on the unmade futon, feeling oddly light inside. I was back to square one, back to the entangled mass of desires and emotions. But did I regret it?<p>

Soft padding of feet in the hallway gave Natsuki away. I curled on my side, pretending to be asleep. Even though I promised her to finish our conversation from the previous evening, at the moment I didn't feel strong enough.

"Shizuru, how are you feeling? You never sleep this long..." The girl sat by my side. Her fingers tentatively rested on my hip. She knew I was awake. "Where is she?"

I turned towards my girl but said nothing, observing her from behind half-closed eyelids.

"Shizuru?" insisted Natsuki, her voice low and her gaze piercing.

"She's gone," I mumbled but she seemed to wait for more. "Tomoe's back in her home, believing it all to be but a dream."

Natsuki pulled her hand away and put on an undecipherable expression.

"I see..." She didn't look at me anymore. I wanted her to look at me, even if with contempt, even if with scorn. "So if I let you f-fuck me, you will throw me away as well?" Other than the small stutter, nothing betrayed her emotions. Not waiting for my answer, she reached for the hem of her shirt, obviously intent on disrobing then and there. "It's easy: I lie down, you do what you want with me, you get bored with me and I'm free to go so you can find yourself a new toy. Oh, wait, not a toy - a companion."

The last word so laced with venom and malice that I winced.

"Natsuki, it isn't..." I got to my feet to stop her but she moved away, in no time getting rid of her shirt, her bare chest heaving with erratic breathing.

"Oh isn't it?!" Natsuki burst out. "Funny, 'cause that's exactly how I see it. You keep talking big how I'm important to you and stuff, but when you couldn't bed me, you found Tomoe and screwed her night in and night out for a month until you got tired of her and threw her away like an old, dirty rag." The girl pushed me and I fell backward on my futon, with Natsuki following me soon after. "What are you waiting for, Shizuru? You finally have me in your bed. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Her lips clashed with mine in a sloppy excuse of a kiss. I pushed her away, bitterness like that of a bile raising to my mouth.

"Natsuki, stop... I never... I didn't touch Tomoe." Unable to stand the girl's sight, I closed my eyes.

"Then show me." We were still touching so I used this connection to send her my memories of nights spent with Tomoe. Of the first time she touched me and I backed away because her touch didn't feel right. Because she didn't feel one bit like Natsuki. Of how I sent her erotic dreams, night after night, so that neither she nor Natsuki learnt the truth. How I was stuck in indecision, unable to change the deadlock we found ourselves in.

"You're pathetic." Feeling Natsuki's weight lift up, I dared to open my eyes. She was standing a bit away, bending down to retrieve her shirt. "What do you want, Goddess Shizuru Viola? Tell me, what is it that you want."

I opened my mouth to give her an answer as honest as I could find but there was none. There was no answer I could offer Natsuki with all honesty.

Quite unexpectedly, my girl's gaze softened and she left my room, shaking her head.

* * *

><p>I can't recall any memory of that day. All I am sure of is that, came the nightfall, Natsuki entered my bedroom, carrying her pillow and covers.<p>

"Move aside," she said, gesturing with her bedding. I scooted a bit, leaving some free space. Natsuki lied down next to me, cocooned in her own blanket. "Just don't try anything funny."

"Can I at least hold you?"

After a prolonged moment of silence, when I've already lost hope for an answer, Natsuki whispered:

"We'll see about that."

The same thing happened the following evening and on the third night Natsuki purportedly "forgot" to bring her covers and we had to share mine. I was not the one to complain about this though, when I could cuddle with my lovely girl all night. Her warm and soft body filled me with utter bliss, but with the stirring in my bowels still present this could prove a disaster.

It so happened on the seventh night that my hand slipped under Natsuki's sleepshirt. And the fire erupted with full force. My palms wandered higher and higher until reaching delightful twin mounds. Our position constricted my moves so groaning with frustration I turned Natsuki onto her back. Her innocent sleeping face would probably be able to shackle the hunger in me but at that moment - did I even bother to look at her?

I shoved her shirt up, completely revealing her pale breasts. Without wasting any time to truly appreciate the view, I fell upon them like a hawk upon its prey. I licked at them, teasing perky nipples further up. On my tongue, they felt like silky smooth pebbles, sweet like nothing else.

From there, I travelled lower. Licking and nibbling my way down the plains of porcelain stomach, while my hands occupied themselves with pert breasts, I reached the barrier that hid Natsuki's most dulcet treasure. During my explorations, did I think of the girl's response, of how she felt about being exposed and used in such a manner? No, not even once.

After all, she was mine. My lovely sacrifice, offered to me and therefore mine to do with as I seemed it fit.

As my impatient fingers were about to dip into Natsuki's panties, I heard her whimper.

"Shizuru... stop... don't... not now... not yet."

The desire in me roared and reared up. How did she dare to tell me what and when I could do?!

I raised my hand and before I knew what I was doing, a loud smack of flesh connecting with flesh filled my suddenly silent bedroom. I stared helplessly at the outprint of my fingers darkening against the delicate skin of Natsuki's cheek. Oh, what have I done! How could have I...

Natsuki closed her eyes for but a second at the impact, and then these green orbs were wide open, not looking at me but somewhere where no sight could reach. And in an instant I recognised the look in her eyes.

Not the one she sported when she thought I abused her trust when she overused wine.

Not the one from the time when I asked her to pay the price for her Auntie's cure.

Not even the one dreading what she thought her future when she offered herself as a cure to my illness.

No, those I could easily stand, those I already knew how to dispel. But what was I to do when her eyes were filled with the same fear, pride and resignation that dwelt in them as she had been laying on the altar? Did she think me no better than those poor excuses of humans who wanted to sacrifice her life for their own ends and purposes?

Green depths reflected my doubts and responded to them with a new question: can't you for once be honest with yourself? I wanted to say that I was, that this one time I paid no heed to forms and protocols, doing what my heart urged me to do. But this haunting look forced me to finally admit to what I have thought barely moments earlier: 'she's my sacrifice, my sole property to do with as I please and see it fit.' So there I was, no different from her past tormentors no matter how much I would like to deny it.

I slowly reached and tried to gently cup her cheek but she shied away from my touch. How prompt! Why should she accept it now, that I've broken all promises ever given to her...

I slowly backed away, getting up from the futon, all the time mumbling apologies. The audacity of my actions terrified me to such an extent that I could not even look Natsuki in the eye. Casting one last look at her unmoving form, laying prone and half-naked, I left the room.

* * *

><p>Once again, the dawn was drawing near as Natsuki stood at the golden gate, shivering from the cold. She seemed determined to climb it and find her freedom - or untimely demise.<p>

"Natsuki, wait."

She looked nervously around.

"Do not be afraid. I am well away from where you stand." In truth, I was standing on the veranda, shrouding my presence with illusion, keeping close eye on her. "I am releasing you from your promise to keep me company, you can go back to your loved ones."

Natsuki straightened her sleepshirt; only then did I notice that in her haste to escape me she didn't dress properly.

"You should go back to you room and dress." She took a step forward and back. "I know you have no reason to believe me but I will stay where I am."

After another moment, the girl bolted towards the house, coming out of it in a matter of seconds, clutching something in her left fist. The golden gate stood wide open.

"I know I have no right for this but I pray that one day Natsuki will be able to forgive me."

She hesitated for a moment, her lips moving wordlessly.

"Please, forgive me, my lovely..." I choked out for the last time.

And then she was gone; my time with her cut short like a flame snuffed aborning.

* * *

><p><strong>.<strong>

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***dag points up to the "in-progress" tag* :D**


	9. Chapter 7,5: Natsuki

I don't get it Duran. I don't really get what happened.

I know this isn't entirely her fault. Part of the blame falls on me as well. After all, I knew how she felt about me, I knew what she wanted from me yet still I…

They took me by surprise. I was running some errands in the village - replacing some tableware broken by Tardy Trio or stuff. If there was one or two of them, I could have easily escaped them or broken from them with a few well-placed kicks and punches. But they came in great number, a group of grown-up men against a single girl. And as they tore my clothes and forced me into a white robe, and pushed me through the village to where the old altar stood, their number grew even higher. Curious kids and their moms joined the procession. It was something worth gossiping, after all.

I don't remember much of what happened after that. Just following them in some kind of haze, through the forest and onto the hill. Being pulled and pushed, and then pulled again. Then I was lying supine, looking at the bright sky, something hard digging painfully into my back. Blind Reito babbling something about a goddess and a prophecy. Thunder. And then mist and storm but not a single drop touching me. And then?

I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is waking up in somebody's arms. Feeling warm and safe. Until it turned out I was hugged by a goddess. No, not any goddess. The goddess Viola, our benefactor and our judge, known to severely strike those who cross her.

Well, that's the myth. In fact, she turned out even worse than that, pervert and insatiable. When she gathered me in her arms I wanted to scream. Wanted to cry out that this was a rape, that I did not consent. But she stripped me not only of power in my limbs. She took away my voice. I could only whimper and plead with my body, begging her to have mercy.

Duran, I swear, I was pretty certain she was going to ignore my tears and… you know… do the deed. But she surprised me yet again.

That's why I stayed.

It took me a long time to learn to trust her. There was some lustful spark in her eye that made me wary. Until the Day of Flight, that is. If she truly wanted to do something, she had the perfect chance then. I wouldn't remember a thing. Too much wine, you know. But she - she didn't touch me. When I was most vulnerable and defenseless, she kept true to her word.

And then again, when Auntie Mai fell ill. I still don't know whether she'd planned this from the very beginning. You know, just to test me. To see if I care enough and then let me off the hook. Because if she didn't, I don't get why she suddenly changed her mind. She could have had me, if not willingly then at least with my consent.

Duran, do you think she knew beforehand the consequences of helping Auntie? That she'd be in such a tremendous pain? I can't forget her screeching, her shrilling screams and cries. She looked like a heap of rags, a marionette with her strings cut. A parody of the goddess I know her to be.

If she had known it would happen and still let me off with just a kiss… I have to admire her even more.

Oi, don't lick me! I'm no longer sulking. See, I'm all smiles, no need to sniff me like that.

Oh, found something interesting? This barrette… It's a gift from her. I don't know on what occasion I got it - or if there was any occasion at all. Probably not. One morning, she just left this small package by my plate when we met for breakfast. Said she thought it would look good on me. It's the only thing I took with me when I left.

I know, I must seem out of my head. Keeping this memento of her after what she's done. But the thing is, I care about her. During the time we spent together, she became to me like a family. Or maybe even more.

One thing I know for certain. I would not do what I planned to do when she fell ill if she meant nothing to me. I mean, if she'd perished, I'd be free to go, right? But somehow the very thought of losing her scared the shit out of me. And this was just one more time when she surprised me by denying to have me.

Just like she did when she won me in that poker game. And on numerous other occasions, when she had an excuse or my potential consent but still kept onto her promises.

I don't know what happened later. Why did she suddenly start to avoid me? Why decided to spirit Tomoe? Well, that one I kinda get. She couldn't get into my pants and apparently even goddesses have their... needs in this matter.

But you know what pissed me most, Duran? I mean, beside throwing Tomoe out. Because no matter what one may think about people like her, no one - and I mean no one - deserves to be used and discarded. Left with nothing… abandoned like a broken puppet…

Still, when I confronted her about this, something weird happened. And by weird I don't mean me getting naked and desperately coming onto her. Weird was the look in her crimson eyes when I asked what she wanted. She was lost, not like a goddess at all. And there was this great sadness, the longing so profound it made me shiver. I may not remember my parents, I may not have a lot of friends, but in my whole life I have never felt even a tenth of her loneliness.

No, what really pissed me off was the simple fact that she didn't take time to freaking talk with me. How hard could that be, huh? We spent so much time together. Would it kill her to say "Natsuki, we need to talk. There's something that I want and only Natsuki can give me that."? I would give it to her. I would give myself to her. After all we've been through and with this… something… going on inside me whenever I thought about her.

I just needed some more time.

Couple more weeks. Maybe even less.

Maybe a fortnight.

Couple days more.

But she didn't ask me. She just tried to take it on her own.

She broke every promise she'd ever given me.

Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I went too far, sharing her bed. But I only wanted to do something with this terrible loneliness in her eyes. I wanted to get accustomed to her closeness. I wanted to give her at least something before I could give everything.

And so she took it.

Enough. Show me your paw, Duran. It's nicely healed, soon you will be running like before. Good thing I found you in that snare… the day I ran from heavens…

I don't hate her.

I don't think I ever could.

The pain is now gone, the wound in my heart scabbed over.

Do you think I could run again as well?

* * *

><p><strong>Really short this time and not exactly what I had in mind. Still, sometime during writing I realised that this might be better than the more detailed recollectionrecap I had planned.**

**Hopefully, this cast some light on Natsuki's part of the story. As for the Grand Finale - I'll try to have it up by the end of the year but no promises here.**


	10. Finale

_**Guys, I'm seriously amazed that you are still waiting for this. It's not like it's a great story and the outcome is easy to guess. You make me feel ashamed for taking over a year to finish it (and to think it only took me a week to write this chapter!).**_

_**A lot has happened since I started writing this story - learned more about writing, met some super-awesome people, lost some of them, got a half-steady job... I feel old T.T**_

_**Anyway - this finale I dedicate to each and every one of you if only reading these silly stories of mine brings smile to your faces. **_

* * *

><p>All in all, I feel good.<p>

Last night, I succumbed to light sleep shortly after midnight and stayed so till the sunrise. My slumber was peaceful and full of sweet dreams. So sweet in fact, that upon awakening I regretted that they were not more than that.

Still, I was well-rested and energized. My whole being was buzzing with power ready to be released. I drank my morning tea on the veranda as was becoming my custom, peeking now and then into the human realm. Harvest time was long gone and my followers were contentedly preparing for the winter.

Chuckling to myself, I put my powers to work and soon the village was filled with children's laughter and squeals at the first snow this year. Even adults took a break, setting up a huge pot in the square and making mulled wine.

Their joy is contagious. Sitting at my desk, I remember the songs they were singing and hum one of them. I read the prayer scrolls and find that today supplications are scarce. Days like this predispose people to gratefulness and praise. I respond in kind, giving my blessings in such an abundance that they will not forget it. Yes, I do feel good.

Then, there is a voice in my head, calling me. It is the kind of call that sometimes came to me right before the prayer. I wait eagerly for the new scroll to appear but there's none. Even so, the calling continues, more urgent than before. Eventually, I realise two things at once.

The voice keeps repeating my name, not my title. Everyone, every single follower of mine knows me as Goddess Viola. There's only one among the living with whom I shared my name.

And it is this one's voice that I hear now. My heart clenches, even more so when I realize the distress she's in.

"Natsuki," I whisper though she can't hear me.

Whole seasons have passed since she left my heavenly abode. All this time, thoughts of her were near me. As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, the longing slowly dulled and faded. Eventually, it has become a shadow in the back of my mind: always present but not overwhelming. Oftentimes, I caught myself wondering how Natsuki was doing. At any given moment I could see it for myself, yet I felt I had no right to do so. Not after I betrayed the girl and hurt her.

She calls me again and I discover that time changed nothing: the familiar low voice fills my heart with ache and desire and… joy. Because she does call for me. Whatever troubles her, she believes I can aid that.

I want to jump into action, unleash my powers and save Natsuki. Want a chance to redeem myself. But I don't even know where she is so I look into the human realm, checking the places she's most likely to be in.

Natsuki is not at Mai's homestead where Tardy Trio decorates their hut with boughs of holly. Neither is she in the town square among the festivities. Her favourite clearing by the waterfall is empty, so is every other spot known to me that she likes to frequent.

When I finally find her, it is in the last place I would expect her to be. Laying upon the old cracked altar on the hill, she shivers in a thin white dress. Falling snow adorns her dark hair like a diamond dust and her cheeks are lightly reddened by the frost.

Not a blink of an eye later I am by Natsuki's side, shielding her from the snow and the wind. It is then when I notice tears freezing into icicles on her lashes. My heart misses a beat when I realize that she's no longer calling for me and I fall to my knees, shaking her.

Moments feeling like ages pass before Natsuki blinks her eyes open. At first, the twin emeralds are clouded and unfocused but soon enough I see recognition dawning in them. My poor girl tries to say something but only small puffs of breath escape her mouth. She gives up on words and pushes something into my hand. Cold fingers brush my cheek and a drowsy smile dances on Natsuki's lips before her eyes close again.

I gather the girl in my arms and step into my heavens.

It is only after Natsuki's thawed and wrapped up in a blanket that I can breathe again. I sit in front of the fireplace with my girl on my lap, too anxious to let her out of my sight for even a second. Stroking still damp black hair, I turn back to the letter she gave me on the hill.

_...I tried to go back to what life once was. How hard could that be, right? It turned out harder that I thought. Somehow, I've grown accustomed to your presence. Back with Auntie Mai and girls nothing changed but at the same time everything was different. No day would truly start without green tea - lightly sweetened, like yours. Falling asleep was hard without that smell you always bring with you. Lavender, is it? Time and time again, I caught myself turning around and half-expecting you to be there, waiting with a tease._

Here, Natsuki's handwriting became shaky and even less legible than before.

_I have no idea how or when that happened but you sneaked into my heart. You became a part of me. I don't know how to call this feeling but whatever this is…_

Natsuki whimpers and squirms but stays fast asleep. When I stroke her cheek with the back of my hand she calms down.

_...whatever this is, it makes want to be near you. To hold you and see you smile._

The next few lines are crossed out and although I could probably decipher their meaning I refrain from doing so.

_Let's just get this over with. You wanted me whole, right? You already stole my heart and my mind, so why not take my body as well? If this is the price I am to pay for your presence then so be it._

_I am yours, Shizuru._

_Your sacrifice._

I barely finish reading the letter - the words that tug at my heart and confuse my mind - when the pale eyelids rise and reveal green irises. The moment feels like something that had already happened to us as Natsuki is blinking and yawning and finally mumbling:

"Hi…"

There is a smile on her face, a bit drowsy one yet reaching her eyes.

"Hello, lovely." The sight fills me with great tenderness. Running my fingers through the dark hair, I touch my lips to the girl's temple. "I so missed you." I lay another kiss to the crown of her head. "Missed you so so much…"

Natsuki snuggles into me and hums.

"You came back." In this very moment all pieces fall in place and as the realisation dawns, great surprise comes into my voice. "After all that happened… you came back."

The girl doesn't respond but groans while stretching. The blanket rides down her chest and she notices that her white dress is gone.

"So you a-already took it?" Her nervous stutter is back and she's no longer snuggling into me.

It takes a moment before I realize what she means by that.

"I took nothing, Natsuki." I'm trying to catch her gaze. "I would never~"

"Of course," she interrupts me. "You would rather have me conscious and cooperating, right?" Natsuki frantically tries to undo her shirt fastenings. "Well, I am now."

All this bravado to hide the trembling of her voice, the soft shadow in her glassy eyes. I catch the slim palm with one hand and bring it up to my mouth. Natsuki still tears at the fastenings with her other hand so I catch this one as well.

The girl looks at me quizzically.

"Shizuru…" she starts but is interrupted when a powerful shiver shakes her body. I realize that her cheeks are flushed not only from embarrassment. My lovely girl is feverish, her breaths becoming shallow and laborious.

I gather Natsuki bundled in the blanket in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. Half-lucid, she asks me to be gentle. Stifling a chuckle I promise her that and lay the girl down, joining her on the futon soon after.

Natsuki immediately curls into me like a puppy and falls asleep once again. My sweet, lovely girl… Why did you bring yourself to such a state? You should have just called for me and I would be there for you. There was no need for this cursed altar and exposing yourself to bad weather and for this ceremonial dress. Is that how you see yourself: a sacrifice and nothing more? Natsuki…

My musings are cut short by Natsuki's snuffling and quiet whimpers. Combing her hair with my fingers, I start whispering the words of a blessing that should speed up her recovery. I keep my watch over her till the wee hours of morning when her fever finally breaks and I can feel her life force getting stronger by a minute.

She's back.

A few hours later, I sit back by her side and watch Natsuki slowly wake up. She is in much better state than last night and when the pair of emeralds eventually appears from behind the pale eyelids, they're sparkling with life. Then comes a moment of confusion when Natsuki notices me and realizes where we are.

"You rescued me again."

"Natsuki seems to have a strange penchant for old altars." I wink at her and her face brightens with a smile. "And there is this one goddess that is not really fond of unwilling sacrifices."

The dark-haired girl looks down but then surprises me by kissing my cheek. For once, I am the speechless and baffled one. Natsuki looks around in an obvious attempt to avoid meeting my gaze and she notices the food tray I put to the side.

"What's this?"

"Breakfast in bed, my dear." I retrieve the tray and place it over Natsuki's legs. "You will need plenty energy for today."

The girl's thoughts must take turn in some unpleasant direction because she chokes a bit on rice. Judging by the colouring on her face, it's the same kind of thoughts that pushed her last night. Still, when I offer her a cup of tea, Natsuki sends me her happiest smile, completely carefree and relaxed.

I welcome it with relief as a good sign for the future.

The morning passes in amiable atmosphere with Natsuki eagerly telling me about the past months. I notice there are things she doesn't mention, moments when she falls quiet and a little sad but I say nothing, simply enjoying her presence.

After the breakfast we visit Auntie Mai because I suspect - and it turns out I am right - that Natsuki once again disappeared without a word. The older woman invites us for freshly-baked muffins and Tardy Trio conveniently forgets about the chores to join us.

Not without a surprise, I learn that there is a new member in the household. Even knowing that her time is drawing near, Mai could not refuse taking in a three-year-old girl abandoned by her parents. She sends me that all-knowing smile of hers and I get a feeling that Natsuki and I will be frequent guests in here. After all, the kids will need someone to take care of them and I am sure that little Anne won't be the last of them accepted in this family.

Amidst the good company, bantering and laughters time flies quickly and before we notice, most of the day dwindles away. I had this whole day planned - actually, Natsuki had it all planned when she thought she won our card bet - and now I am forced to scratch the bigger part of it. Not that I regret it. My lovely girl's wide smile and openness are the best I could wish for with any carefully knitted plan.

Having said our goodbyes, we make it back to the heavens. We were supposed to end this day picnicking by the lake in the mountains but the early onset of winter caused by some playful goddess prevents us from that.

Instead, I lay out a blanket on the floor in front of my fireplace. This place has already witnessed so much that it feels proper for whatever will happen tonight.

Natsuki lets out an adorable chuckle when she notices a bowl of sticky sticks I prepared while she was still asleep. For the moment though, full of Mai's homemade goods, we leave the food aside. The important part is that I made it.

We sit down in silence and for the first time since her wake-up Natsuki seems nervous. She must suspect what will follow but there is no fear in her eyes. Rather, I think I notice some affection lurking in their green depths.

I lie down and pull Natsuki to join me. Brushing the raven hair away from her face, I say nothing. Sating my eyes with the sight of her is enough. For now at least.

"Shizuru, I…" Natsuki stumbles and sighs but when I try to say something, she stops me. "I think I…" She stutters again but the determined set of her jaw tells me not to interrupt. "I like you. I really really like you." Another sigh. "I think I might lo-lo…"

When she can't push the word out, I put two fingers to her lips.

"I know, love." Smiling gently at her, I trace her lips with my fingers. "You came back." Under her questioning, uncertain gaze, I quickly add what I should have started this day with: "I love you too."

With a relieved sigh, Natsuki relaxes and pulls closer to me. Once again, I discover that she fits my body so perfectly as if we were made for each other.

One more thing bothers me, though.

"Natsuki?" She hums but doesn't look at me so I pull back a little. I need to see her face when she'll answer the question. "Would it truly be just a price you have to pay?"

"I've never… been with someone." She doesn't look at me and her voice is really quiet. "But I want to be with you." I stroke Natsuki's head, encouraging her to continue. "It feels good being with you," she finally offers with a sheepish smile. "It feels right."

I don't ask any more.

As we snuggle on the blanket, I lay my left hand on her stomach, feeling its tautness through the thin cloth of Natsuki's shirt. My fingers stroke and draw simple patterns while I try to gauge my girl's reaction.

Her eyes are on me, curious, searching, maybe a tad wary. Yet, she doesn't shy away from my touch nor does she tense so I continue. I let my fingers sneak under her shirt and push it up. Bit by bit, the creamy expanse of her tummy is revealed to my eyes and I revel in the way her muscles are dancing under my fingertips.

Natsuki observes my movements but says nothing. A light blush paints her cheeks the loveliest shade of pink and there's an unmistakable twinkle in her eyes. I lean down and touch my lips to her stomach. It's so soft and silky smooth that it makes me want more. Before I place another kiss though, my lovely girl pulls back.

"No," she whispers.

Immediately, I look up searching her eyes for answers. Was I wrong before, judging her attitude as willingness?

Shaking her head, Natsuki clarifies for me.

"Not there."

With the embarrassment spreading from her cheeks onto her whole face and then down low, the meaning of her cryptic words becomes clear to me. I take her hand in mine and place a kiss inside the palm.

"Here, then?" I ask, trying to catch her eyes. Natsuki only shakes her head so I try again, baring her right shoulder and kissing the sensitive skin there. "Here, maybe?"

When she denies once again, I embark on a journey through all accessible parts of her body, kissing wherever I can without disrobing her. And then, when I obstinately pretend not to understand her intentions and she's no longer chuckling but openly laughing at my antics, I pull one of her socks off and kiss the big toe.

"Shizuru!" She admonishes me, poking my shoulder with the said toe.

I feel tempted to kiss her feet over and over again, as if in defiance to her indignation, to elicit countless peals of laughter. So I reach for her foot but she stops me, taking my face in her hands and pulling me close.

"Here," she whispers and gently touches her lips to my own.

The kiss is sweet but short, too short. I pull her in for another one and she follows. Her lips move tentatively, exploring this new territory with great caution but without fear. I can feel my heart soaring in my chest when Natsuki follows my lead and allows deepening the kiss. I am becoming drunk on her, heady with her taste on my lips and tongue.

I tear myself from her mouth and trail lower, discovering the pale column of her neck and she does not forbid me that. She's mine. Wholeheartedly and irrevocably mine.

My Natsuki.

My lovely sacrifice.

My beautiful love.

And I am hers.

The rest - as they say - is history.

-/-/-/-

So if they ever tell you that heaven is the most beautiful place of all, you may want to believe them.

And if they tell you that gods are the happiest creatures of all, it may be worth believing as well.

I am a goddess, I know what it takes.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So what do you think? Was it worth the wait?<strong>_

_**If anyone still waits for the update on 30 shekels - I'll get back to that... someday. :P**_

_**Happy New Year, girls and boys! May it better that the last one!**_

_**Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku! Buon Anno! Masaganang Bagong Taon! Akemashite Omedetou! ****Selamat Tahun Baru! Shana Tova! :D  
><strong>_

_**See you next year~~**_


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